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Think About Your Favorite Movies, Then Read This

So people usually have this crazy reaction when they hear that I don’t particularly like watching movies. They almost seem offended when they find out that I haven’t seen Star Wars or Harry Potter films. It isn’t that I don’t like movies.. I just don’t like watching them.

Now you get it?

I didn’t think so. Let’s just pretend I made a very compelling argument right there and pretend to be convinced.

I really like stories, in books and in conversations. I like them in movies too, but I watch movies in pieces because it is difficult for me to be guided entirely by a screen where my mind has no wiggle room. Explosion here, the sound of steps in an empty hallway there. I would know exactly what a character’s voice sounds like and that’s weird to me. No mystery, no questioning. Were stories really meant to be told like that?

Anyway, I would like to welcome myself back into this blog.

*applause*

Alright. Cool.

The question of the day is:

If you were stranded on an island, and you could bring with you 5 movies, which movies would they be?

155. Waking up before everyone else after sleeping over somewhere

Have you ever spent the night somewhere, and have woken up way before the person who invited you over?

What are you supposed to do? I mean, they probably won’t be up for another couple of hours, but you just can’t go back to sleep in this strange home. Aside from wiping off drool and folding up your sheets and stuff, I’ve come up with a few things you can do. Check it out:

1. Open their fridge - Just to see what they have in there. You might find some free-for-all leftovers in there.

2. Check the medicine cabinet - I never open this stuff when I’m at someone else’s house, but do I get curious? Heck yeah!

mr-bean-face-703x350

3. Try to drop something or make a noise to make them wake up - Make sure you make it seem like an accident though.

4. Go poop - It is the perfect time to do so.

5. Air out the bathroom - See previous.

stinky

6. Watch your friend sleep - Just kidding.

7. Leave - Without saying bye or anything. They’ll get the memo.

What the heck though seriously. I feel awkward staying over at other people’s places, usually I just sit there and check my email, or text back a few people. What else is there to do?

154. Looking at your drop of spit fly through the air as you’re talking

Some people are notorious for spitting when they speak. I notice every single one of those occasions. Someone is showing you how to correct the formula on your Excel file, and then suddenly, they stop, wipe their mouth, and then a tiny drop of spit from your screen that has since been illuminated by a rainbow of colorful pixels from your monitor.

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Most of the time people pretend to not notice it, but I only do that if the other person does it while we’re eating. I just really do it for my own sake, I don’t want to imagine that tiny foamy droplet flying into my mashed potatoes, even though the chef was probably singing to some Mexican music and spitting to his heart’s content back in the kitchen.

See? I’m better off not knowing.

What do you do in those situations?

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