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Posts from the ‘Awkward’ Category

When someone cancels plans that you didn’t want to have in the first place

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It is almost time for me to move again to Northern California. I have a new place up there, and it came just in time to avoid the coldness up there. Here in LA we had a 79 degree F Christmas Day, while NorCal suffered a 28 degree morning.

But with little time to meet up with friends before I leave again, there are lots of plans flying around. From early morning hikes, to new coffee shop visits. But every once in a while, I lose the drive to want to leave the house.

Do any of you guys get that too?

Like I could just sleep all day, without changing out of my pajamas, making trips to the fridge every time commercials come on television.

Usually the friend will send a text, asking at what time we should meet.. and I refuse to reply right away. So I stare at my phone for a good 10 minutes, wondering if there is anything I could say that would get me out of it. I almost wish for a secret code word that would be a major hint to someone that says “nope, I don’t wanna go but I’ll do it because I’ll feel bad if I cancel”.

Then I feel minor anxiety because I’m not returning the text and the friend has decided to call. It is ringing. Blah! Oh well, let’s just do this…

But every once in a while, there is luck floating in the air.

“Hey man. I won’t be able to make it”

“Oh, that’s too bad. Next time, I guess.”

“Sorry”

“No worries, dude.”

Seriously, no worries.

5 Email Signatures and What They Really Mean

Even though email may seem like extremely old-fashioned nowadays, I do it often. Like actual correspondence-type emails. Yes. That happens.

Sometimes I’m responding back to customer’s questions, and other times I’m reading awkward stories that you guys share with me via email. My first experience using Outlook in a job setting was in Colorado back in 2009, where the world of Microsoft Office opened up a brand new window to office gossip and the path to the long chain of people you have to go through in order to get access to the software essential to doing the job I was hired to do. As an observant of the awkward and the unnoticed, I started taking note of the email signatures these people would use. In a land of engineers with support from HR, IT, law, accountants, and tech guys.. they were easy to differentiate.

Take a look at the types of email signatures these people would send:

Human Resources

Yours,

Marie Escalade
Human Resources
(555) 198-9213- extension 124

Information and Technology

Myriam Delao
IT
(555) 143-9123 -ext 2

Law Department

Sincerely,

Bill McCormick
Chief Coordinator of Internal Operations & Executive Trainee
Department of Law and Engineering Support
Office: (555) 876-1234
Fax: (555) 213-1231
E-mail: bill @company.com

If you believe this email was sent to you in error, please delete immediately and notify the sender.

Engineering

-mike

Accounting

Thank you,

James Blunder
Accounting
(555) 123-1245 ext- 3
—————

And then I started noticing the signatures other people send, and dude.. some of them just make me want to invent a virus that would make a hand come out of the screen and slap somebody.

Here are some slightly modified [to make my point] email signatures found around the internet.

1. The Overachiever Student Who Thinks He’s a Professional

—-
Sincerely,

Bogdan Emerson
President 2012-2013
Envirocool Organization
Hazing Chairman of Kappa Jau Fraternity, Inc.
Cell: 555-412-1234

What you’re really saying: I am the coolest guy on campus and you need to know that. The top companies don’t want me but I don’t know that yet.
2. The Funny Guy

—-
Thanks pal,

Geoffrey “Karate Kid” Nelson
Earth
Smoke ring signals: Puff, puff, hold… puff, puff, hold, cloud.
Ok but seriously, cell phone: (911) 134-9421
Gotcha.

What you’re really saying: I am hilarious, laugh at me. Alright, you can stop now. It isn’t funny anymore, stop. #AntiBullying

3. I’m Green, and You Must Know It

—-
With kind regards,

Christine Skye

Please be considerate of the environment before printing this email. 

What you’re really saying: I annoy my friends, and secretly still buy bottled water.

4. The Success


Thanks a lot, bud.
Max Le’Gitneo

Senior Planning Vice-President of DaCool Co. & Media Conglomerate, Corp.
LeGitNEO@DaCoolCo.com
Office: (555) 123-1234
Cell: (555) 123-1252
Office 234-A

Disclaimer: All information contained in this email is intended for single use only and only to the person listed on this email and is subject to inspection by our security guard, Hank, at any moment if any suspicious activities arise. You may not distribute, copy, email, forward, modify, or read this email at coffee shops or diners. All opinions expressed in this email are not representative of DaCool Co & Media Conglomerate, Corp, but any good ideas arising from such emails are copyrighted by said company and can be used for profit without providing any royalties. The sender is not responsible for any accidental damage caused by this email, including but not limited to: choking, explosions, weight gain, or deep depression. 

What you’re really saying: Bow down to me. I am the douche who emails you with this account to ask you about the status of my toilet paper on eBay.

5. The Philosopher and Prophet

—-
Spiritually with you,

John Everest

Thoughts arise in the midsts of the early dawn, upon which the sun kisses the earth and greets the children of the earth.

What you’re really saying: I like to read quotes and demonstrate my spirituality even though I got in a fight with the guy in front of me while waiting in line at McDonald’s today.

What does your email signature say?

Thanks,

Edwin

English: email envelope

English: email envelope (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Failing at Things

Have you ever said “leetle” instead of “little” or something similar?

When you mispronounce something, you will get teased for a little bit. You just have to take it. It happens sometimes though, sort of like when you’re writing and the next word begins with the letter that the previous letter ends with and you…

Oh, right, let me explain:

Suppose you’re taking notes and the lecturer says “Many green ninjas.” Because of some weird supernatural phenomenon, you will be tempted to write “many gree ninjas”. Maybe it’s just me.

It isn’t that you forgot how to write, or how to speak… you just messed up. People fail at common things all the time, like eating ice cream.

 

Just sitting there.

And falling.

Of course you can also take something common and make awesome, like this guy:

 

Happy Monday!

 

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