Even though email may seem like extremely old-fashioned nowadays, I do it often. Like actual correspondence-type emails. Yes. That happens.
Sometimes I’m responding back to customer’s questions, and other times I’m reading awkward stories that you guys share with me via email. My first experience using Outlook in a job setting was in Colorado back in 2009, where the world of Microsoft Office opened up a brand new window to office gossip and the path to the long chain of people you have to go through in order to get access to the software essential to doing the job I was hired to do. As an observant of the awkward and the unnoticed, I started taking note of the email signatures these people would use. In a land of engineers with support from HR, IT, law, accountants, and tech guys.. they were easy to differentiate.
Take a look at the types of email signatures these people would send:
(555) 198-9213- extension 124
Information and Technology
(555) 143-9123 -ext 2
Chief Coordinator of Internal Operations & Executive Trainee
Department of Law and Engineering Support
Office: (555) 876-1234
Fax: (555) 213-1231
E-mail: bill @company.com
If you believe this email was sent to you in error, please delete immediately and notify the sender.
(555) 123-1245 ext- 3
And then I started noticing the signatures other people send, and dude.. some of them just make me want to invent a virus that would make a hand come out of the screen and slap somebody.
Here are some slightly modified [to make my point] email signatures found around the internet.
1. The Overachiever Student Who Thinks He’s a Professional
Hazing Chairman of Kappa Jau Fraternity, Inc.
What you’re really saying: I am the coolest guy on campus and you need to know that. The top companies don’t want me but I don’t know that yet.
2. The Funny Guy
Geoffrey “Karate Kid” Nelson
Smoke ring signals: Puff, puff, hold… puff, puff, hold, cloud.
Ok but seriously, cell phone: (911) 134-9421
What you’re really saying: I am hilarious, laugh at me. Alright, you can stop now. It isn’t funny anymore, stop. #AntiBullying
3. I’m Green, and You Must Know It
With kind regards,
Please be considerate of the environment before printing this email.
What you’re really saying: I annoy my friends, and secretly still buy bottled water.
4. The Success
Thanks a lot, bud.
Senior Planning Vice-President of DaCool Co. & Media Conglomerate, Corp.
Office: (555) 123-1234
Cell: (555) 123-1252
Disclaimer: All information contained in this email is intended for single use only and only to the person listed on this email and is subject to inspection by our security guard, Hank, at any moment if any suspicious activities arise. You may not distribute, copy, email, forward, modify, or read this email at coffee shops or diners. All opinions expressed in this email are not representative of DaCool Co & Media Conglomerate, Corp, but any good ideas arising from such emails are copyrighted by said company and can be used for profit without providing any royalties. The sender is not responsible for any accidental damage caused by this email, including but not limited to: choking, explosions, weight gain, or deep depression.
What you’re really saying: Bow down to me. I am the douche who emails you with this account to ask you about the status of my toilet paper on eBay.
5. The Philosopher and Prophet
Spiritually with you,
Thoughts arise in the midsts of the early dawn, upon which the sun kisses the earth and greets the children of the earth.
What you’re really saying: I like to read quotes and demonstrate my spirituality even though I got in a fight with the guy in front of me while waiting in line at McDonald’s today.
What does your email signature say?
English: email envelope (Photo credit: Wikipedia)