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Posts tagged ‘blogging’

Trying to pick up a coin from a flat surface

Dropping change is just bad. I can never pick up the coins on the first try. Am I the only one with this problem?

 

Sometimes when buying something at the store and the cashier's hand misses mine and he or she drops a dime on the flat surface, I try to pick it up with one hand using my index finger and thumb… Then I realize that it's a two-hand operation. You see, what you do is, umm..

You slide it off the surface and drop it onto your other hand.

And if you drop your money on the ground, good luck.

Either way, it can be slightly embarrassing. I mean is a penny REALLY worth five tries? Maybe that's why I always find pennies on the ground; people just leave them there. I pick up pennies and dimes and quarters (obviously). Maybe my time is worth a little less than the guy who dropped it. Or maybe I'm just super lucky!

Yeah! Let's go with the second one.

Checking yourself out on a reflective window

Men and women have a completely different way of approaching a reflective surface. Men typically look at themselves, and straighten up the posture and relax the shoulders.

Women, on the other hand, have a script written out detailing their every move. Let’s assume that you are a woman walking down the street at 7am, not many people are around and you are trying out a new shirt.

And, ACTION!

Woman is walking down the street. She spots a giant window belonging to a Thai restaurant to her right. Trying act all casual, she keeps walking, and glances at herself. Well more specifically, glances at HER BUTT.

It’s a “thing”.. Women enjoy checking out their butts.

Then she straightens out her shirt, she adjusts her skirt, makes sure she brings out the chest area, and bam! she’s good to go.

Some go as far as to walk up to the surface, smile very widely to check their teeth, and check those dark lines they paint around the eyes (I forget the name).

You look hot

This seems like every day stuff to you guys, but have you ever been INSIDE a store or office, and have been able to witness such things happening? It happened to me while I was drinking some tea one morning. People would literally walk up to the window and stick out their butts while leaning their heads back, get rid of that wedgie, and keep walking. Dudes mostly adjusted their collars and straightened their posture.

Have you ever been checking yourself out on a window and then slowly the image of the people on the other side begins to become clear through the glass?

Whoops.

So awkward.

151. When your butt itches but you can’t find the moment to scratch

What the heck is an itch?

Do we have any doctor readers here? Sometimes it feels as though the whole experience is mental, and that I can make it go away with the power of my mind. Hey, it works with stomach aches. What weirds me out is how contagious it is.

i_B_P9gg0PY-dog-scratches-butt-weightlifting-surprise-ending--gifsu.com

Think of this:

Right there, where you are sitting (toilet, cubicle, or bed), imagine the feeling of  walking into a spider web and then a fly buzzing around your ear. All of a sudden, you feel it. Your lower back. There it is.. an itch. You feel it at one point.

You want to scratch.

Don’t do it just yet. Watch what it does.

It is literally crawling. It spreads around, now its climbing up higher, to your left side, then your right. You can’t resist it. Its there.

Its higher now.

Now at two points, and it is getting more intense. Ahh! Scratch scratch scratch!

See?

How the heck does it work?

What sucks is when you get an itch on your butt and you’re out somewhere where you can’t scratch. Yup, there are no walls around, and people are everywhere. You may be visiting your girlfriend’s relatives or during a fancy dinner. You can be waiting in line at Starbucks. Itching badly and nowhere to go.

Or when your hands are full and you can’t scratch?

butt1

 

 

How about women in their huge wedding dresses. Ouch. Now that would really suck.

butt2

 

One solution is to run off to a bathroom and scratch there, since they are usually repeat scratches. Scratching it may cause the itch to continue even longer, but ignoring it intensifies the itch.

So awkward.

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