Posts tagged ‘life’
Every once in a while, pretty much every day, I get a new update notification for one of my devices. A phone update, a software update, or a notification somewhere to download something to make life better. Apple just recently updated my iPhone with a new layout for those emoji icons, and I noticed something cool: there are hands for white people, yellow people, brown people, black people, red people, blue people, and purple people. Just kidding, not that many colors.
They also made gay couple ones, and a bunch of other kinds. I still haven’t discovered all of them just yet, but I noticed that they added more flags of the world. There is a Mexican flag now, woo! Go Mexico!
Though yes, they may be opening up a door for those people who like to complain about everything, they might say that Apple discriminates because they didn’t match their correct skin color, or that they’re missing a bowl of Fruit Loops on there because it is their favorite kind of cereal.
I found one of these really cool, I like the running people:
But okay, seriously what is up with the horse rider. They all look the same to me:
I’m kidding guys. But seriously, don’t they all look the same?
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It “In.”
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write “For Sexual Favors”
7. Finish All Your Sentences With “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”
8. Don’t Use Any Punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go.”
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party because You’re Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream “I Won! I Won!”
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling
“Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”