Categories Awkward

#8 An angry stomach

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I’m not sure how many of you actually eat a good breakfast before heading to your office or an early morning class. I tried it for some time, and I guess I did see positive results. I felt more awake, I was able to focus more in class, but more importantly; my stomach didn’t growl.

Its possible that we might never find out why farts are funny, or why burping is considered rude, but now I would like to add the stomach growls to that list. Why is it so strange to hear a stomach growl in class, for example? It’s one of those things that happens and we ignore, sort of like when a person has a huge pimple on his or her nose; you notice it and both know it, but it is acceptable to just not bring it up.
I stopped eating breakfast early in the morning, which has led to my morning experiences being a little rougher. You can somewhat control any gas escapes, but you cannot control your stomach from growling no matter how hard you try! I have tried several things to try to make the situation less awkward, including (but not limited to) the following:
1) If it sounds like a cat I just try to ignore it. Its not worth messing acknowledging a sound like that. One time though, I laughed. It was a mistake.
2) If its a long one, well.. I’ve tried covering it up with some other noise. Like a forced sniffle, a cough, or an attempt to clear my throat.
3) If it sounds like a fart my recommendation is to put your hand over your stomach.

This tells the spectator “It was my stomach, do not panic.”

For some reason, water doesn’t do the trick of calming it down, and from my experience it has made it worse. It sounds more like a big pot of boiling water.
But hey, we can’t do much about it.
Some people have natural sound makers in our stomachs, and others just forget to eat and have a growling stomach all day. Some are lactose intolerant, others just have interior-farting mechanisms.
We’re all different. We’re all special little snowflakes, just like everyone else.


  1. Lovely. Just lovely. 🙂

    My first question to the kids “Do you have to potty?” Gas/tummy noises = inside farties. So, that’s what I think…but it’s all natural!

    By the way, I thought I had until about 6-8 years old before gas became funny to my son. NOPE- that humor starts at 2 1/2. At 3, gas is hysterical. At 7 he’s now saying “Ew, who farted?” at the dinner table… and my 5 year old daughter is joining in “That’s just my fart, momma.” and we’re at the movie theater!



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