Categories Awkward

107. Awkward search terms that lead people to your blog

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Attention all bloggers!
Do you get a kick out of the awkward search terms as much as I do? One of the cool things about WordPress is that you get to see what people entered in a search engine to get to your blog right on the same page as your stats, which, of course, you, um.. rarely check. Ahem. Anyway, sometimes they’re relevant. If you write book reviews you might see book titles, author’s names on that list; words like “glue” or “scissors” might come up if you like to post about arts and crafts (OK, they might be a little more elaborate than that). But sometimes you get weird stuff. As you might have guessed, many people find this blog through awkward search terms. For the longest time, one of the most popular searches was “Cute Poop”. 

Eventually I figured out what caused all this commotion. It was this image of a poop finding comfort in the thought that maybe its a potato (credits to the artist). It was funny when I found the thing somewhere around the internet.. now I’m wondering what the heck I would’ve entered into Google Images in order to get that. Maybe someone else read their search terms and wondered who would ever search for poop.

After going through my list of awkward search terms and realizing what a great contribution this blog is making to the internet, I decided to copy a part of it for your viewing pleasure. Check out this piece:

I touched someones “behind”- Whoa, sounds more like a confession to me. Eh, at least I’m not the only one that uses Google as a therapist. These are tough times, my friends.

How you feel when you see someone not washing their hands- Good one! This one is already listed on the AwkwardList, but this is the kind of “relevant” stuff I was referring to earlier. Way to go anonymous dude!

Movie sex scenes 13- This type of search was leading people to my blog after a post on sex scenes and how awkward they are when they show up. Why must directors insist on showing boobs or guy’s butts in movies? I’m sure these searchers were quite disappointed when they clicked on it and found no sex scenes. My apologies.

What to do when choking on a drink when laughing- Try not to die!

A handshake whilst urinating- Uhh.. a handshake whilst urinating. Like, literally shaking hands while peeing? Uh..

Person walking into a website- I’d like to find out how someone could do that.. A person walking into a website. Don’t you wish we could do that sometimes? Visiting someone’s site would be ACTUALLY visiting their site.

I can’t say I don’t deserve it, many things on here are, well, awkward. I’m not complaining, I enjoy reading those things every once in a while, don’t you? At any rate, I let out some very private stuff during this post, so now it is YOUR turn! If we get enough of these, a special post will be published on what you guys come up with. Let’s do this!

What are some of the strangest, most awkward search terms leading to your blog?

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  1. Reblogged this on Gealachs Blogg and commented:
    Kul inlägg om märkliga söktermer som får folk att landa på ens blogg. Jag har inte varit med om några riktigt skumma saker, de flesta söktermer som dyker upp i WordPress statistik har något att göra med saker som jag faktiskt skrivit om.

  2. I get a few that make me scratch my head like “how to pronounce ryong” but most of my search terms request answers to questions that my posts… don’t answer, or even talk about, because the search hits were based on song titles or lyric content.

  3. I get “how to talk to stripers” a lot. Even though my tag is clearly “how NOT to talk to strippers.” Also, I don’t know what a “striper” is. In fact, I’ve received more hits from people looking to hit on their “stripers” than “strippers.” Which is just weird.

  4. Ohhhh yes! I wrote about this a few times but for some reason people always come to me by searching “Luna Lovegood Nude.” Luna Lovegood, in case you’re not a Harry Potter nerd, is a character from the HP series, why anyone would want to see her nude – WHO KNOWS. I also have no idea how people came to my blog via that term..and in tons of different languages! Sooo weird!

    Your list is too funny. So much bathroom stuff haha. Love it.

  5. I just have to say that this is about my favourite post that you’ve done! LOVE reading people’s crazy search terms!

    One of the more popular ones for me is “Mr T” – I assume it’s ’cause we have the same hairstyle.

    Hilarious, as usual, Edwin!! 🙂

  6. ‘My cootchie is green.’

    ‘Accidental incest with my mother.’

    ‘Naked pictures of my father.’

    I could go on, but it only gets worse from there.

    I did a whole series of posts at the beginning of the year that were the titles of classic porn films. I’m sure I’m not helping myself in the search engine department, but it sure did give my blog a boost. 🙂

  7. I ended up here by searching how to do this very thing! I can’t find the stats page (I’m a newbie–my blog is self-hosted wp with thesis theme. If you can advise me, I’d be grateful! Your post is hilarious!

    1. Hi!

      Thank you 🙂 and I’m not too familiar with self hosted wp, but it might be a plugin you need to add. If you’re connected on Facebook, I’ll send you a link to our little blogging group on there, everyones pretty helpful.

      Thanks for stopping by.. Welcome to blogging! 🙂


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