29. When someone tells you that they miss you (and you don’t miss them back)

29. When someone tells you that they miss you (and you don’t miss them back)

So, it happened. Someone said ‘I miss you.’

You can’t exactly say that you miss them, yet they decide to tell you that they miss you. And you don’t miss them back. Though this can be pretty awkward, there’s a way out. You may actually not have to lie.

What to say:

  1. Lie and tell them that you miss them too. You’ll avoid awkward silences, but you risk it coming off as dishonest if you say it all awkwardly.
  2. Say “Hey! Yup, I’m still alive! How are you?” It dodges the question, makes a very cryptic point about you not missing them (only if they read into it deeply), and you remain 100% honest.
  3. Say “I miss Youtube” and keep your integrity. It sounds like I miss you too, but it isn’t. Obviously you can only say this if you’re in person or over the phone. And I mean, we ALL miss Youtube when we don’t have the app open, right?

First, start thinking about how they said it to you. We’re going to go over this by level of awkwardness, and just how we got through the other things on our list of awkward moments, we can do this too.

They Told You Over a Public Comment on Instagram, YouTube, or Facebook

If you were left a comment somewhere, it’s easy to ignore –but if the person/friend has a record of being a bit over emotional or petty, they might get butt hurt about being ignored especially if you’ve responded to other comments in the thread. 

Once they tell you that they’ve been missing you, one feels a certain pressure to say the same thing, just like when someone compliments something that you’re wearing; you feel the pressure to compliment something about them. When someone says something like “aw I miss you!” you can always lie and say it back.

I’d probably say something like, “Yeah, it’s been a while! How have you been?” and then don’t reply to any follow-up comment. Its just not worth it and completely socially acceptable to ignore the second comment.

You’re Told In Person

Okay, let’s not panic. Are you with other friends or by yourself? Oh wait! They’re both awkward as heck. I’m sorry but I think we’re out of options here and you’ll have to bite the bullet and tell them that you miss them too.

I’m not the type of person that says “I miss you” directly, but instead say stuff like “are you still alive?” which kind of gives off the same message, but not really. I’m just not a very expressive person in general, so even answering to someone telling me that they miss me is plain awkward.

People who know me would definitely find it weird if I turn to someone else and say “I miss you, too” since I practically never ever say that, to anyone. What the heck, dude?

If you don’t want to lie or you know that its going to come off as completely unnatural and fake, I wouldn’t say it back. Its a rare thing when someone asks you “do you miss me too?” but on the off chance that they do that, say yes and deal with it. I’ve been in that situation before and it never turns out alright because I get all uncomfortable and weird about it and the other person can tell.

The Escape Plan

I resort to changing the subject. I just say something like “I haven’t seen you in a while, what have you been up to?” And then the whole “missing” subject disappears. So far it’s the best option for me, since I’ve always had a tough time telling lies, it just doesn’t come out of me for some reason.

Try this:

If you say something that sounds just like “I miss you too” and you’ll be safe. Guaranteed. Like the example above about saying that you miss Youtube, there’s no reason why you should say I miss YouTube since it is online and well, but maybe you haven’t watched a video in a couple of hours and you really miss those cat videos, so yes, I’ve just justified your lie…. you’re welcome.

By the way, do you want one? Here you go:

That was alright I guess.

Here are some alternatives:

Should you lie? Yes. I didn’t want to say that because lying is bad and you shouldn’t do it ever… but it is just awkward when you don’t say it back. Here are some other options to say:

  1. “Wow, yeah it has been a while!”
  2. “Where have you been?”
  3. “Same!”

But let’s say it is a text, so everything seems a bit worse than it actually is…

  • “Hey!”
  • “Yeah, long time, how’ve you been?”

What ever you do, do NOT say the following:

“Aw, thanks!”

What if someone says “I love you”?

Well, that is a whole other story.

This Post Has 9 Comments

  1. Now, to say ‘I miss you’ is like when the cashier at the supermarket asks you ‘How are you?’ She doesn’t give a crap how I am, is just like a reflex. So this whole thing I miss you is bs :D, in my humble opinion of course.

  2. I either just do the automatic reaction as well, or I just smile kindly and wait for a subject change (by them or me, either way).

  3. very true 😀
    I usually wait for a while till that persn writes something else. So i skip the miss u part :d

  4. I usually try to sound obviously sarcastic and say “No, not at all, hahaha!” and then they assume that I must have missed them A LOT. Kind of a strange way to do it, but hey, it works! 🙂

    And sorry for always reading your posts waaaayyyy after you write them, but I just recently discovered your blog… I must say, its amazing! Keep it up 🙂

  5. You got that kind of love let me get that.. Let me get that yeah.. And ill be sitting right here real patient.. All day all night I ain’t leaving your side. Not because I love it hate the way I love you, all day all night.. No lie..! When you’re ready come and get it nah nah nah nah nah nah

  6. i also say, “well, i didn’t die.” hahaha

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