29. When someone tells you that they miss you (and you don't miss them back)


So, it happened. Someone said ‘I miss you.’


Sure, you’ve been away from a certain person for a while, but you can’t exactly say that you miss them, yet they decide to tell you that they miss you. And you don’t miss them back.

Once they tell you that they’ve been missing you, one feels a certain pressure to say the same thing, just like when someone compliments something that you’re wearing; you feel the pressure to compliment something about them. It can be pretty awkward to just stay there quietly, or to just smile. Oh! Or how about when someone decides to ask you if you’ve missed him or her? Would you lie? Some people would.

Someone says I miss you

The Escape Plan

I resort to changing the subject. I just say something like “I haven’t seen you in a while, what have you been up to?” And then the whole “missing” subject disappears. So far it’s the best option for me, since I’ve always had a tough time telling lies, it just doesn’t come out of me for some reason.

Try this:
When someone tells you that they miss you and you don't miss them back

If you say: “I miss YouTube” it sounds just like “I miss you too” and you’ll be safe. Guaranteed. I mean, there’s no reason why you should say I miss YouTube since it is online and well, but maybe you haven’t watched a video in a couple of hours and you really miss those cat videos, so yes, I’ve just justified your lie…. you’re welcome.

By the way, do you want one? Here you go:

That was alright I guess.

Here are some alternatives:

Should you lie? Yes. I didn’t want to say that because lying is bad and you shouldn’t do it ever… but it is just awkward when you don’t say it back. Here are some other options to say:

  1. “Wow, yeah it has been a while!”
  2. “Where have you been?”
  3. “Same!”

But let’s say it is a text message, so everything seems a bit worse than it actually is…

  • “Hey!”
  • “Yeah, long time, how’ve you been?”

What ever you do, do NOT say the following:

“Aw, thanks!”

What if someone says “I love you”?

Well, that is a whole other story.


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