Spider webs. I know, I know. . . many people are afraid of spiders, some more than others. But before you start screaming and attempting to destroy your computer, know that there are no pictures of spiders in this post.
After having dinner with a friend last night, I was asked for a favor: to debug her apartment. I had forgotten how afraid of bugs she was. You see, she doesn’t mind working with urine or blood samples and even gets excited over things like autopsies, so one day I came to visit her with a weird insect I had found (it looked like a cross between a tiny black ant and something else) because I figured nothing could gross her out, but I was wrong —very wrong.
Back to last night’s story: there happened to be old, dusty spider webs hidden in the corner of her window, and a lot of them outside that I was trying to reach with a broom, but eventually I realized it would be easier to reach with my hands. That’s when I remembered what a spider’s web feels like, which then reminded me of the following:
When I lived in the college dormitories, there was a path behind the buildings that would lead to the cafeteria and during the summer, spiders would make their homes right there. I’m talking about huge webs that would stretch from a light post to a tree trunk, and would take up the entire path (what were these things trying to catch? People?) I was aware of the spider webs because one morning I was able to see tiny droplets of water on a spiderweb that made it extremely noticeable along with the web’s creator waiting right in the middle of it. Some people, however, would not be able to notice the spiderweb; which was good AND bad because it created pretty hilarious scenarios in my mind, but that would mean that the spider would have to start all over. And also bad because of possible bites. Which might be poisonous. Which might lead to —O.K.! Alright! Let us say that no spider was present in my mind scenario.
But seriously, haven’t you ever walked into a spider web and felt those long strings of spider silk in your hair? Or even better, have you ever seen that happen to someone else?
You could be walking around somewhere with a group of friends and suddenly one of your friends begins to wave his arms around like crazy at some invisible force and no matter what he does, he cannot free himself. Is he possessed? No, it’s just a spider web. That’s the thing about spider webs, they are invisible and feel extremely sticky and stretch so much that attempting to get rid of it makes you look like a mad person. Some people feel the need to make a scene and start yelling and running around in circles. Other people take it too far and start panicking and might even attempt the old-school Stop, Drop and Roll, but that’s in case of your clothes being on fire! . . Wait, would fire get rid of it? No, don’t try it.
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This happened to me the other day. I was leaving my apartment early in the morning for a run and I guess I was the first one out since I walked right into a spiderweb. It grossed me out during my entire run until I hopped into the shower.
The Awkward List says
I hear ya..
This cracked me up, it has happened to me as well, and you do run around like a completely CRAZED person. I laughed at this because it is really funny when it happens to someone else, but not to yourself. lol.
Hahaha! Yeah, I’d much rather watch someone ELSE freak out!
PCC Advantage says
I absolutely hate spiders and get totally creeped out when I walk into their webs. When that happens, I am definitely a person who makes a scene. I scream, flail my arms, run in a zig-zag pattern, and am usually brought to tears. It’s awful.
I laugh when it happens to other people, though. Out loud. *SIgh*…I’m such a jerk.
how about walking in the park and stepping into a dog poo. It happened to me when I was a child. Yuch …I’m still scared 😛
I was laughing out loud the entire time I read this!! I absolutely hate walking into spider webs, I do the crazy person flailing arms thing…. and you are so right, the webs somehow don’t come off… its like torture especially for me because I wonder if the spider came off WITH the web and if it’s on me!!! oh no, having flashbacks ;(
Sh*t my 6-year-old says says
Oh, I’m the total bug “cleaner” in my office also. LOL! Buncha girls… 🙂
I walked into a spider web leaving my home to get that last bag of trash in the can b4 going to bed, and in the dark I saw this big yellow and back “garden” spider in the web as I hit the web… so I was the neighbor who was flailing, screaming and beating herself up trying to get it off (if it was even on me). Ran in the house and threw off my clothes just in case… nothing yet… still checking…
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Eva didot says
Funny but amusing
When i was 6, i was in the woods and i keep walking in to this sticky stuff that was invisible . I had no idea what it was . The orb web was always at face level as if the spider saw you coming and jacked in up to your face . I have been terrified scent then . I don’t go in to the woods . I don’t go under trees . I don’t go between anything that is close together . I don’t go in abandon houses or cars . If i do have to go in those places , my hands are out in front of me . I was in a horror house on Halloween and they had fishing line that felt like spider webs in the dark . They had to carry me out and take me to the hospital .