Awkward List

Awkward moments and more weird stuff

Awkward Moments

Awkward Family Holiday Parties

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Did any of you guys go to your in-law’s home for the holidays? Was it awkward? It’s weird, for a while now I have been getting invited to spend christmas in other people’s homes. This past Thanksgiving was spent eating bad Ecuadorian instant noodles and watching Netflix.

So I guess not that different than normal.

You know how when you enter someone’s home, their house has a very distinct smell to it…. but you can never identify your own house’s scent? Well in the same manner, family parties are a whole other beast to an outsider.

For one, you have several different types of relatives.

The Grandma, Version 1

The person that stays quiet most of the time, only to speak up to scold somebody. They like to help out around the kitchen, they keep to themselves, and falls asleep on the couch with everyone else around the living room.

The Grandma, Version 2

The kindest most awesomest person in the room that you just want to hug and have them make everything better. They smile, they’re the only ones who try to get to know you, and happens to always have a little kid on her lap.

The Rude Uncle or Brother-in-Law

The one who makes inappropriate comments about the way you’re eating sausage, or tells you that your mouth can open very wide to bite that turkey leg. They laugh at just about anything, but mostly their own jokes.

The Distant Relative

This is that chubby woman who comes up to you to say how much weight you’ve gained, and grabs your cheeks. You remember her from where you were a little kid and always wanted hated that “come say hi” thing your mom always says.

The Drunk Cousin

Yeah, we all know who we’re talking about.

Haha!

Well, things don’t actually have to be that awkward for everyone. There’s lots of things that certain families do that would seem weird to the rest of the world. At my house, sometimes we don’t all sit down to eat together but rather pick at the pots and pans whenever, even if not everything is ready yet.

And then sometimes we go to my aunt’s house and eat again afterward.

I went to a friend’s house once where his family served tacos for Thanksgiving and they were delicious.

What is one thing that your family does that is just plain weird to other people? Type it up, and submit your comment below!

Being around that one person who always seems to have body odor

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This post is not meant to be mean.

But seriously.

A few years ago, I was riding in the backseat of a car looking outside at the trees and the way that the sunlight looked through the moving trees. It was a nice moment… when suddenly it starts smelling like armpit.

The person who was sitting in front of me had rolled down her window and decided to enjoy the day by making fish motions with her hand along with the wind outside of her window. Do you guys know what I’m talking about? Like you pretend that your hand is a fish or a plane and you let the wind lift and drop your hand or move it side to side to feel the stream of air around your skin?

If you don’t get it, too bad!

So the air was flowing up her arm, to her armpit, and shooting straight back to where I was sitting.. filling up the backseat with stinky smells.

I didn’t know what to say, I knew this person very well and had known her for a long time so being all like, “hey yo.. so like, deodorant.. yeah” would be just plain weird considering that she had smelled that way since I’ve known her but had kinda gotten used to it.

See, some people just don’t use deodorant and they are so used to the smell of armpits that they think its weird that you’re bringing it up.

And you’d think they would notice that they smell bad and do something about it. I mean I’ve gone as far as pretending like its me, smelling my own armpits, and saying

“Nope, not me.”

But it doesn’t work.

Jeez. How do I let them know? Or should I just let them be?

Do you know anyone like that? If you do, just casually link them up to this post 🙂

 

Thank you so much for reading! To catch up on more awkward moments, please click to follow this blog on WordPress, or give me a shoutout on Twitter.

When your spoon gets swallowed up by your soup

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Have you ever been eating soup all relaxed, or maybe during a first date (so super nervous), and leave your spoon leaning against the wall of your bowl, when IT happens?

The spoon becomes alive as it tries to escape, and you see it fall slowly, slowly, until it disappears underneath all of that tomato or pasta or veggies or ketchup (uh, what kind of soup are you eating?).

Your spoon has been swallowed up. It just fell right down. But now here is the moment of truth:

What the heck do you do?

You can try to stick your hand in there and get it out, but this isn’t cereal we’re talking about. See, with cereal, anything goes –but not with soup. That thing is hot, yo. Its also kinda really gross to stick your hand in something warm or hot. Tell me how many times have you ever done that?

I saw this happen just yesterday while I was out eating with a friend. I saw her expression as the spoon slowly disappeared into the abyss, and she just said “Oh no!” but left it. She didn’t continue eating her soup, and instead asked the waiter to put it in a container and took it home. I think she forgot that her spoon was still somewhere in that bowl, hidden under egg and drop (okay, egg drop soup is just.. egg.. right?.. or.. wait, never mind).

That waiter must have been surprised to see the spoon in there. But hey, if he didn’t notice.. woo! Free spoon. 🙂

158. When no more plates fit on your table at a restaurant

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Have you ever considered asking the table next to yours if they’re going to use all of the space on the table? No?

Oh.

When I go eat with my parents, its usually for breakfast at a Mexican diner type of thing. My mom enjoys trying different types of food, so she makes sure that we all pick a different type of food, so we can all try each other’s food. I’m used to it by now, people eating out of my plate, and my dog has tried to take advantage of that several times.
But aside from everything coming in enormous portions, they also come with side plates. A plate for your toast, for your pancakes, for your soup, and for any dipping sauces. And since its a Mexican restaurant, your salsa. Now take into consideration that your food will come in large oval plates, and that there is also a ketchup bottle, a napkin thingy, salt and pepper, sugar packets, jam little container things, creamer, and more hot sauce… these guys should really adopt those holder things that make your table a double decker type of thing, have you ever seem the pizza holders? They’re like a metal rack type of thing. So that your plates can go under the darn thing.
Anyway, so it seems like we have a bit of a space issue there.
And then there you are sitting in front of an entire table full of food and think that everyone else is staring at your table. I once had to put the toast next to me on the booth seat. The waitress laughed at me.
The takeaway: either learn to balance food on top of other food, or tell the waitress you need a table for 6 when there are only three of you.
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Speaking of food, I just spent 11 bucks on a chicken sandwich from a Burger King at an airport. How have you been ripped off at airports?
I’m launching my

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soon.

Get a sneak peek at One Way Ticket, Please to tell me what you think about it, please! The link takes you straight to my about page to find out a little more who I am and what the website is about. Be sure to enter your email on the thingy so we can keep in touch on there!

 

158. When your friend is being confrontational and you don't know what to do

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I was sitting outside of a study room back in college eating with a very dear friend and coworker, when an Asian dude comes by and starts smoking a cigarette right next to us. We are outdoors so of course I think its somewhat legal to do so, but I should’ve known that in the state of California there is a law that says you have to be at least 25 feet away from a building.

My friend definitely knew this. So imagine a girl with blonde hair, with salad still in her mouth, stand up and tell the guy:

“Uh, excuse me, I’m trying to eat here, can you go smoke farther away from the building?”

Horse - Haters gonna hate

This guy didn’t look mean, but he gave her a look that made her nudge like she was about to stand up.

He just nervously smiled and backed away toward some steps and leaned against a tree.

What the heck was that about? I have been in many situations where a friend of mine gets confrontational with someone else while I’m right there, pretending like I’m somewhere in-between “yeah, I’ll back you up,” and “shut up, dummy. You’re going to get us both beat up.”

Have you been in similar situations? Check the list:

  • Your friend is driving and decides to honk at someone else, and later the car pulls up on your right and look right at you.
  • Someone has cut in line in front of you and your friend doesn’t decide to just be quiet and make a nod of “WTF?” acknowledgement to the guy behind you.. but instead tells the cutter “Hey! There’s a line!”
  • The restaurant gets your order wrong and your friend decides to tell the waiter to get the manager instead of just clearing it up with the waiter himself. Cringe.
  • Some stranger on the street whistles or cat calls somehow the friend you are walking with and she (or he) decides to tell him (or her) off and adds a little sass to it.

Jeez.

What do you guys think?

Please share your experiences in the comments below!

157. When someone lies to you and you know they're lying

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Special note for bloggers at the foot of this post.

Not long ago, I asked a friend if she had gotten my email because I hadn’t heard back… to which she replied that she didn’t have email on her phone.

And then I reminded her that she was the one who told me to get email notifications on my phone because they were very useful. She had also read part of an email that she got to me, out loud, while she was next to me in the car.

“But, I know you have email on your phone. What’s going on?”

“Uh. Um, not really.”

“You don’t really have email on your phone?”

She didn’t admit it that she was lying to me, but I didn’t want to push it. How do you feel when someone lies to you?

Cheerios

Ohhhhhhh!

An old roommate used to disconnect the internet router because the lights bothered him at night, and one time over the phone I asked him to turn it back on, and he said it was already on.. and I even heard him stand up flick a switch, and just then the internet started working again (I knew when it came back on because I kept refreshing my StumbleUpon page).

I said “Oh, I guess it was just my laptop”

So awkward.

What are you supposed to do? Play along? I guess that’s an option. I want to know what you do. Hit me up on Twitter, or add a comment below!

——————————————–

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156. That moment when you realize you gave the wrong directions

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I was walking around the northwestern part of Mexico with my cousin after getting some tacos for breakfast (yes, for breakfast!) when I heard a familiar phrase coming out of a car stopped at a red light: Oye, muchacho!

They were asking how to get to San Carlos, a tourist area about 15 minutes northwest from where we were. I had been there many times before, so I told them to just go straight down the road and that an intersection would take them west toward San Carlos.

There was a girl sitting in the passenger seat, it looked like she was from outside of the country, and she asked me if the road pops up on the right or the left. So of course I said LEFT because heading northbound… San Carlos is on the left… except that the exit comes up on the right side and makes a loop and heads west from there.

I realized this literally two seconds after their light turned green and they left. I gave them the wrong directions.

Awkward

Awkward! No, bird! It’s the other way!

But it isn’t the first time that this happens, and no I don’t mean giving the wrong directions but instead second guessing myself. At the end of exams, after an interview, after clicking “Publish” on a blog post. I guess its a karma thing that people always give me the wrong directions. Maybe I should learn how to read maps.

Does this ever happen to you?

My dog makes it awkward at dog parks

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So I took my dog to the dog park the other day.

My awkward dog

There he is taking over my bed and sleeping in it. His name is Jax, and he follows me absolutely everywhere. You’ve probably seen him on my Instagram page, back when he really needed a haircut. He’s friendly, and he likes to sleep.

He doesn’t get to hang out with other dogs very much because he doesn’t like to go outside unless he really needs to poop. And I mean really needs to poop. He runs outside, spins in circles about three times and lets the beat drop.

The thing about dog parks is that the dog owners feel like the dogs are their children and sometimes they get super protective of them. Then it gets awkward.

The dogs that enter and then drop a deuce are probably the funniest of them all. And then a chain of three dogs come by to inspect the poop and approve of it before the owner comes by and picks it up with a flimsy blue bag.

My dog might be a bully because he walks up to big dogs, or brown dogs, and starts barking uncontrollably. He also runs around in circles around it. It is really embarrassing.

My other dog, Peewee, enjoys humping other dogs and owners have walked up to him to pull him away. I just pretend he’s not mine. It doesn’t help that he’s deaf.. (oh, poor dog!)

Have you ever taken your dog to a dog park or a dog beach? Any awkward moments for me?

Smelling your clothes to check if they're clean

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Alright, so when I was a kid I remember my mom coming into my room and asking me why my clothes were all over the place, and why I didn’t use that basket thingy she got for the dirty clothes, and why I always needed batteries for my GameBoy, and to go outside and play, and.. well a bunch of other stuff, right? I guess its what mothers do. I could handle a lot of those questions, which I would just answer with a “just cuz, mom,” (yeah I was one of those kids), but one thing that made me use the dirty clothes’ basket thing, was that my mom would sort out what was clean and what wasn’t clean by sniffing it.

And MAN did it make me uncomfortable.

Dirty socks? *Sniff* yep, dirty.

Dirty shirt? *Sniff* hmm, smells okay.. *sniffs from the armpit area* nope. Dirty.

Dirty pants? *Sniff, from the crotch area* …

MOM! Please! Okay.

I guess that motivated me to also want to start doing my own laundry, to which every once in a while I still find myself tempted to sniff my armpit parts of the clothes to see if its dirty or not. Sometimes its just a check to see if I can wear it again without stinking up an elevator or scaring away my stranger bus seat partners. I mean, washing your clothes after a single wear seems like a waste of water, especially if all you did was put them on just to go to Safeway and take them off as soon as you come back home and put The Walking Dead back on Netflix and heat up your microwave pizza.

Maybe smell checking is normal.

*sniff*

What do you think?