I Have to Pee Really Badly

(and other search terms that lead people to this blog.)

I have to pee so bad, I have to pee really bad, I need to pee now, I’m about to pee my pants.

Yes, they’ve all been searches that lead people to here. Here’s how I imagine it this to happen.. and it involves a cell phone, drunk people, and a line for the restroom:

Wait, I think I pretty much just described the whole thing.

Because when we really have to pee, we obviously Google it. Can someone explain that one to me? Why would you GOOGLE IT? Does it help out? I mean seriously.. how? Then Google is all like,

“Yo! There’s this one website, awkwardlist.com, that has some posts on the subject, check it out dude!” so then they end up here, wondering why the heck they would Google it. Well if you happen to stumble onto here, fellow peers (haha get it? PEE-ers?.. uh never mind.) I have some tips for you:

  • Stay away from water sources that make splashy sounds
  • Look for alternative ways of relief in case of emergency
  • Remember, the closer you get to the toilet, the more you will have to pee. This makes absolutely no sense logically which means that this has to be some sort of mental thing. Use it in your favor.

So now, onto my update on search terms:


Are you wondering why people STILL search for naked old people? So am I. The people at Google or Bing probably have a blast with these things. We are one funny group of social animals.

What kind of searches do you get? Please share!


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