Is it cold where you live?

There are funny pictures going around the internet about how people from Canada (aka, Canadians) think very little about the cold, and spend their times outdoors, shirtless, and eating ice cream while the temperature is below 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Or as they say it, “below 0”. They measure temperature in Celsius, just like the rest of the world.

But no, this post is not about making fun of Canadians, and it may actually encourage those of you from northern states and other parts of the world to make fun of us over here in California.

My blanket wakes me up every single morning. When my alarm goes off, promptly at 5:45am, I hear it and turn it off and wait for the second, third, fourth, and fifth alarms to go off before I fully wake up. But now, things are different. I take my arm out of the heat of the blanket and grab the phone only to find that it feels like an ice cube. So I bring it under the blanket with me and it fogs up. I then have to readjust the blanket and the cold forces me to run to the restroom and turn on the shower hoping that the steam will unfreeze my shampoo. 

No, I don’t live in an igloo or in the arctic. I live in northern California, where temperatures get down to around 27 degrees F in the mornings, and my landlord feels that its normal to keep the heating system at a nice 50 degrees throughout the night, and to keep the bathroom window open because of mold reasons. What the heck. It feels like I’m pooping in an ice block every morning. 

Sure, go on and make fun of me now. Tell me about your 10 degree weather, or minus 40 degree mornings as you head out to drill a hole in the lake to catch yourself some goldfish or whatever. 

Mind you, I have been used to a constant 78 degrees, with the occasional 40 degrees a couple of times every winter.. for over 20 years. Southern California, y’all. 

Now, the emergency awkward moment protocol can’t happen, because when confronted with something awkward, you can’t take out your cell phone and pretend to text because your hands will start turning red and then numb a little bit. Or you’ll be wearing gloves which would make touchscreen cell phones a bit useless. 

I did find a solution, however. Through careful observation of nature, I have learned a lot of things from the onion. 1) It makes your breath stinky, so its a good people repellant, and 2) it knows how to dress –in layers! I easily wear up to 6 layers of clothing when I leave the house and scrape the ice from my windshield, and by the time I come back home, I’m only wearing 5. Pretty awesome. Thanks nature.

How’s the weather on your end?

Edwin

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