Awkward List

Awkward moments and more weird stuff

1. Being on a pretend phone call and getting caught

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Isn’t it the thing to do when you are in an awkward situation? Picture this, you are walking from your lecture classroom to the library and you see someone that you know approaching you from the other direction. Chances are one of you is either checking the time, texting, or on a pretend phone call.

Or picture this one: you are waiting for someone to pick you up from a coffee shop. Instead of looking like a weirdo doing nothing but staring at people (which some people openly do and admit it), you pretend like you are doing something important on your cell phone.
Isn’t it awesome? I do it all the time.
Maybe I just feel like I have to be doing something when I am in a crowded place.
I can’t just do nothing (like I do when I’m not around many people). Maybe we just naturally always have to be doing something with our hands. Maybe. Moments when I take out my cell phone without a need to do so:
  1. Walking from building to building on campus, or around a shopping center – Hey, I mean, it IS possible that someone sent me a text message and in those 3 minutes that I wasn’t looking at my cell phone.
  2. When I make eye contact with a stranger – I don’t know what happens! My hand just reaches for my cell phone to at least check the time. Well that’s what I tell myself anyway.
  3. Just to see my home screen/background picture – That’s the only way to call that action. If any of you have an iPhone or any other touchscreen phone, don’t you just like unlocking your phone by doing the little sliding motion thing on your screen? I do that thing just for the fun of it.
Next time you take out your cell phone, pay attention and notice if you are doing it because you want to, or if it was a reflex to one of the above situations. Oh yeah, and it’s awkward if you get caught. C’mon, let’s say that you are actually talking to yourself pretending that you are actually talking to someone when suddenly your phone starts ringing.
Exception: On the FML app on my phone I had a long time ago, I recently read of a man that actually bought a Bluetooth so that he could talk to himself while he was in his car so that people wouldn’t think that he was crazy. That’s not crazy, I’m sure a lot of people do it. Right?

Awkward Family Holiday Parties

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Did any of you guys go to your in-law’s home for the holidays? Was it awkward? It’s weird, for a while now I have been getting invited to spend christmas in other people’s homes. This past Thanksgiving was spent eating bad Ecuadorian instant noodles and watching Netflix.

So I guess not that different than normal.

You know how when you enter someone’s home, their house has a very distinct smell to it…. but you can never identify your own house’s scent? Well in the same manner, family parties are a whole other beast to an outsider.

For one, you have several different types of relatives.

The Grandma, Version 1

The person that stays quiet most of the time, only to speak up to scold somebody. They like to help out around the kitchen, they keep to themselves, and falls asleep on the couch with everyone else around the living room.

The Grandma, Version 2

The kindest most awesomest person in the room that you just want to hug and have them make everything better. They smile, they’re the only ones who try to get to know you, and happens to always have a little kid on her lap.

The Rude Uncle or Brother-in-Law

The one who makes inappropriate comments about the way you’re eating sausage, or tells you that your mouth can open very wide to bite that turkey leg. They laugh at just about anything, but mostly their own jokes.

The Distant Relative

This is that chubby woman who comes up to you to say how much weight you’ve gained, and grabs your cheeks. You remember her from where you were a little kid and always wanted hated that “come say hi” thing your mom always says.

The Drunk Cousin

Yeah, we all know who we’re talking about.

Haha!

Well, things don’t actually have to be that awkward for everyone. There’s lots of things that certain families do that would seem weird to the rest of the world. At my house, sometimes we don’t all sit down to eat together but rather pick at the pots and pans whenever, even if not everything is ready yet.

And then sometimes we go to my aunt’s house and eat again afterward.

I went to a friend’s house once where his family served tacos for Thanksgiving and they were delicious.

What is one thing that your family does that is just plain weird to other people? Type it up, and submit your comment below!

Hey Guys! An update.

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So I’ve been working on a new blog, this one based on another true passion of mine.

I remember blogging here on Awkwardlist at coffee shops all over California. Jeez, those times were rough.

But they brought along a great following and I’ve met so many great people from all over the place through this website. Thank you so much for sticking around!

Anyway, this new website is based on travel.

Actually more of a “do what you want” approach to living life unconventionally. As some of you may know, I had trouble finding out what I really wanted to do in life… but I knew that I absolutely did not want to work a 9-5 job, every day, for the rest of my life until I die.

I wanted to live.

There were many things holding me back, and many of them were in my head. So after doing some thinking, I dropped everything and left the country to try my luck elsewhere.

I went to Mexico, then went back to Los Angeles briefly, and then came down to South America, where I am now. With not a lot of money, less than $1,200 dollars to my name, the help of a few friends, and a little luck thanks to my family’s support and guidance, I’m in Ecuador today.

Sounds a bit crazy, right?

Yeah, it is. Along the way I’ve encountered a ton of awkward situations, including people doing “it” in 10 bed dorm rooms, almost getting stabbed while sitting on a bench because of some drugged up dude, and some other  eerie stuff… I actually watched a man get shot about 10 meters away from me.

You can read that story here:

How to Travel the World

I’ve definitely done a lot of thinking.

Despite all of that, I’m still pretty awkward, and I will be publishing an ebook on awkward stuff, just like on here! I don’t know how well it will do, but for those of you who have been loyal blogger and reader friends to me over the years, I’d like you to be the first to find out what is going on.

So here is the favor I will ask of you.

The website will be launched soon, and I would like your support in the form of your email address. You can tweet it to me, comment it to me, email it to me (edwincov -at- gmail), instagram it, in any way you can think of. The most creative way will get a prize.

Haha.

You will get to watch this thing from up close and be in the loop, along with providing me with some help regarding posts and ideas. Once this thing grows, you’ll be the first people to know and receive those awesome beta products.

What do you say?

Hit me up anywhere to get started!

Thank you guys!

Edwin

——–

And now, back to our regular programming.

Being around that one person who always seems to have body odor

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This post is not meant to be mean.

But seriously.

A few years ago, I was riding in the backseat of a car looking outside at the trees and the way that the sunlight looked through the moving trees. It was a nice moment… when suddenly it starts smelling like armpit.

The person who was sitting in front of me had rolled down her window and decided to enjoy the day by making fish motions with her hand along with the wind outside of her window. Do you guys know what I’m talking about? Like you pretend that your hand is a fish or a plane and you let the wind lift and drop your hand or move it side to side to feel the stream of air around your skin?

If you don’t get it, too bad!

So the air was flowing up her arm, to her armpit, and shooting straight back to where I was sitting.. filling up the backseat with stinky smells.

I didn’t know what to say, I knew this person very well and had known her for a long time so being all like, “hey yo.. so like, deodorant.. yeah” would be just plain weird considering that she had smelled that way since I’ve known her but had kinda gotten used to it.

See, some people just don’t use deodorant and they are so used to the smell of armpits that they think its weird that you’re bringing it up.

And you’d think they would notice that they smell bad and do something about it. I mean I’ve gone as far as pretending like its me, smelling my own armpits, and saying

“Nope, not me.”

But it doesn’t work.

Jeez. How do I let them know? Or should I just let them be?

Do you know anyone like that? If you do, just casually link them up to this post 🙂

 

Thank you so much for reading! To catch up on more awkward moments, please click to follow this blog on WordPress, or give me a shoutout on Twitter.

When your spoon gets swallowed up by your soup

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Have you ever been eating soup all relaxed, or maybe during a first date (so super nervous), and leave your spoon leaning against the wall of your bowl, when IT happens?

The spoon becomes alive as it tries to escape, and you see it fall slowly, slowly, until it disappears underneath all of that tomato or pasta or veggies or ketchup (uh, what kind of soup are you eating?).

Your spoon has been swallowed up. It just fell right down. But now here is the moment of truth:

What the heck do you do?

You can try to stick your hand in there and get it out, but this isn’t cereal we’re talking about. See, with cereal, anything goes –but not with soup. That thing is hot, yo. Its also kinda really gross to stick your hand in something warm or hot. Tell me how many times have you ever done that?

I saw this happen just yesterday while I was out eating with a friend. I saw her expression as the spoon slowly disappeared into the abyss, and she just said “Oh no!” but left it. She didn’t continue eating her soup, and instead asked the waiter to put it in a container and took it home. I think she forgot that her spoon was still somewhere in that bowl, hidden under egg and drop (okay, egg drop soup is just.. egg.. right?.. or.. wait, never mind).

That waiter must have been surprised to see the spoon in there. But hey, if he didn’t notice.. woo! Free spoon. 🙂

Everyone Here Has The Runs

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Around the hostel where I am staying, people are beginning to say that there is a curse because lots of us are getting sick. Getting diarrhea stops you from doing lots of things, but most importantly…

Pooping in a shared hostel stay is awkward

Imagine hearing gases and liquids and solids coming out of someone’s body in the middle of the night?

Fortunately I just have small sore throat issue and just cough all night, waking everyone else up, but at least its not all super awkward.

Do you have any tips or ideas on how to make this situation better for our diarrhea friends?

Read more about my travel stuff here: OneWayTicketPlease.com