It was a typical day around the house, sitting down on a quiet Saturday evening, doing nothing but sitting on the couch with a tray of potato wedges resting on a chair that I pulled up as to use as a table. I turned on Netflix and looked around for a movie. Deciding is more difficult than you think.
Movies are a bit of a drag for me personally, mostly because they take too long. Yes, I was practically dying while watching The Dark Knight, along with The Green Mile, Lord of the Rings, and Titanic. Those “bathroom breaks” I took were used on checking my cell phone, walking around, and living life before going back to movie-hypnosis.
(I bet you didn’t know that about me, huh?!)
But a film I actually like, or am still debating about, gets a second shot, if its short. So I decided to watch an indie-film called “Breaking Upwards” once more. I turned it on, and suddenly I see headlights on the driveway out my window.
She opens the door and starts her normal conversation, and soon my dad comes in and they start walking toward the kitchen and completely blocking out the sounds of the movie. Good thing, because the movie starts with a couple doing it! Yes, “it”.
Of course they don’t show boobs, or the guy’s butt or anything, but you could still see the motion of the couple with their heads in the frame.
I sat there awkwardly, trying not to make a big deal about it, and trying not to draw any attention to the television. Just when I decided to change the movie and reach for the remote, my mom turns toward the television… She walks up to it, and changes the channel. She then looks at me, looks away, and tries to think of something to say. I say the most obvious thing I could think of:
“Mom, its not porn.”
“What are you saying, they were.. No,” she says.
“Can you change it back please? It just started, I’ve seen it before, it isn’t porn”
“Tell your father to change it back,” she tells me, with the most awkward facial expression.
My dad walks up to the television and changes it back.. only for us to catch a glimpse of a woman getting dressed, with the whole butt taking up the frame.
We all looked at each other in silence.
Fortunately, it was over right after that and the movie continued as normal.
Why does it happen like that? Out of a whole hour and twenty-something minute movie, your parents come in right when they show that 10 second sex scene?
Seriously, people. Why do they even have sex scenes in movies? That’s actually a BIG reason why I will probably NOT watch Titanic: that short scene where Rose gets undressed to pose for a drawing.Talk about uncomfortable! It was traumatizing the first time, because I watched it with my parents on VHS.
Here is a list of times when sex scenes are awkward:
- With your best friend
- With your siblings
- With your parents
- With your girlfriend
- With your grandparents
- With your coworkers
- With your wife
With everybody, the only time it isn’t awkward is when you’re by yourself and I bet even just by saying that you’re imagining unspeakable things.
Why is this so.. awkward?