129. Sneaking into the restroom when you're not a customer

You’re driving down the road, finishing up your Slurpee from 7-Eleven. The cherry-flavored one. It’s been very hot  lately, and you’re constantly drinking water and iced teas.. so you’re bound to have to pee a lot.

I know I do.

But when you have to pee really bad and you’re out on a road trip, or in a city a long distance away from yours, you can’t just go knock some stranger’s door and expect them to let you use their bathroom. Unless you’re in Canada (I’m guessing). What is your other option? Stop at a fast food restaurant! They’re everywhere and they have restrooms. But some places are huge lame-os and put a sign somewhere extremely visible that says:

FOR CUSTOMERS ONLY.

You might not care about the sign, and walk in like its your own house. Your Tweets might look something like this:

But if you’re not like that crazy dude, you might deal with the awkwardness differently by sneaking in through the side, pretending that you’re going to order AFTER you pee, or pretending that you came in with someone else.

Restaurants get sneaky on us, and sometimes they do a pretty good job:

  • They post a huge sign in front of your face as you walk in.
  • They put the meanest employee to be in charge of the key to the restroom.
  • Once you get the key, you have to walk around with an embarrassing keychain on it, the most embarrassing one for me? A plunger. I am not making this up, it was at a gas station on my way to Arizona.
  • They have to buzz you in as if you were entering some VIP area.
  • They place the bathroom past the cash registers so you’re forced to walk right in front of them.
  • They have coin operated doorknobs. Really?!

We should be able to pee freely without being forced to buy a drink (because then we’d have to pee again).

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