Awkward List

Awkward moments and more weird stuff

eye contact

2. Making eye contact with a stranger

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It has been a long day at a grocery store, you are tired and you just want to get home. You reach for your keys, which take a long while to finally reach (and you begin wondering why it is so hard to put your hands in your pocket. Weight gain? NO!). You put everything away and reach for your car door, which happens to lightly tap the car next to yours.

Oops.

No big deal, right? Wrong! You casually looked inside just in case someone was inside, and yes. What is worse is that you’ve made eye contact with him. What to do now? Well sorry, I can’t help you there; I’m actually supposed to be writing about the awkwardness of making eye contact with a stranger.

You see, what makes this an awkward situation is the the eye contact. You could’ve just hit the car, and gone right inside and left. But no. You stayed and looked inside. Think about those other times when you accidentally make eye contact with someone you don’t know. Like in a restaurant.

You’re at your table, and across the room, you happen to make eye contact with someone else across the dining area. Alright, it happens. Now let’s say it happens again. You can almost feel it now. The awkward is creeping in.

It happens all the time. Do you ever fear walking toward someone while you’re on a sidewalk because of how uncomfortable it feels? It isn’t because of your clothes don’t match, or because you smell funny; it is because you won’t know what to do once you’re face to face with this other pedestrian. Do you look at her in the eye? Do you say “hi” without feeling like a creep? What to do, what to do. You can always refer to #1 and just hope you don’t get caught pretending to be on your cell phone..

Yeah! Just pretend to be on your cell phone.

57. Not knowing which camera to look at

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“Alright guys, gather up! We’re going to take a picture!”

And that’s the call. People begin to scramble looking for the first camera to pose for, and then the whole crowd begins to get together for the camera pose. A confusing time indeed; you have the really tall people, and the short ones, the big ones and the small ones trying to get their faces to show on the picture.

And just when you think it can’t get any more confusing, it does. Suddenly people begin to give their own cameras to the dude taking the picture because they want their own picture. Don’t they realize that it will be the same thing? It’s called sharing. Oh but wait, there’s more:

Now more photographers arrive and it is now time for the picture.. err, pictures. Trying not to blink for one picture is hard enough, so trying to keep your eyes wide open and the fake smile looking real for that long takes a lot of skill.

Despite all this confusion over one single photo shoot, the main question is always:

“Which camera do I freakin’ look at?”

There are three or four of them and everybody is looking at a different one! I wonder if that’s how celebrities feel. . awkward.

Image sources: Top, bottom

53. Offering a handshake that goes unnoticed

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First of all, I don’t understand that picture I found on the internet. Wet fish hands, like when someone’s hands are wet and stinky? Hmm.. that would make sense. Cool, I think I get it.

I’d like you to think of a time that you were introduced to someone. Usually they offer a handshake, which you take unless you’re sick or it is physically impossible to shake hands (e.g. someone has no hands, or if hands are currently busy). The universal sign of “I don’t want to shake your hand” is to lift up your hand and wave. Or to nod and smile. There are many reasons why someone may not want to shake hands:

She has sweaty hands.
He doesn’t like you.
She is a germaphobe.
She saw you pick your butt.
You recently sneezed and used your hand as a tissue.
His hands are dirty.
Her hand might be injured.
For religious reasons.
She just used hand lotion and doesn’t want the scent to go away.
They actually know where your hands have been. 

The list goes on and on but the one reason that always makes it awkward is:

Your handshake doesn’t get noticed.

Either you guys were in a hurry, or something distracted the other person. . whatever the reason is, it sucks! Especially if some third person saw you stretch out your hand to offer a handshake and got nothing. Zero. Nada. You then are forced to shake off the look that other people might give you and sadly put your hand back in your pocket and pretend it never happened. If no one sees your handshake go unnoticed, it still feels awkward, but it’s a heck of a lot better than the other scenario.

Has this ever happened to you?

[Thanks priya]

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34. Getting locked out of your home

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I lived in the dorms in my early college years. That’s where I gained a ton of friends and got to know many students. I spent two years and one summer living in a 250-resident building, sharing five toilets and 4 showers with 45 other students.

Yeah, it sounds cool but its not as awesome as what I was able to manage throughout those seven quarters (not semesters) living on campus: I managed to only get locked out of my room once. 

My story isn’t as interesting as the one I read on Sandi’s ahhsome blog. Actually, mine isn’t interesting at all… hmm. Oh I know, I’ll tell you someone else’s locked-out experience instead:

I was a Resident Advisor in the dorms for an academic year and a summer, so I learned to really dislike it when people got locked out of their rooms. And they would always get locked out at very inappropriate times; in the middle of the night, early morning, while I was in the shower, you name it. One of these times, I was hanging out with one of my friends who didn’t live in the dorms. He was thinking about moving in. He asked,

“Does anything interesting ever happen around here?”

“Not really. . .” I responded

“Any girl stories?”

Just as he said that, I heard a loud knocking on my door and a girl yelling out my name. I ran to the door, and opened it. A girl from down the hall, named Marie, ran inside, and closed the door behind her and just stood there looking at me. I was looking back at her in surprise. She was extremely embarrassed. This young woman was wearing nothing but a towel and had wet hair dripping down her face.

I turned to look at my friend, sitting on my futon. He was nodding his head and trying to hold in his laughter at the same time.

“I’m locked out of my room and I’m late for class!” she said to me.

“How did it happen?” I asked back. You see, as RA’s we’re supposed to hassle students in order to keep them from locking themselves out again.

“It wasn’t my fault.” she said.

Yeah, it is never their fault. Almost every student has a very good excuse to get locked out, and its usually never their faults. Did they leave their keys inside? Yes. But it’s still not their fault. I decided to save her the trouble, I mean poor girl, she was late and in a towel. But how can it not be her fault? She forgot and forgetting is not her problem? Then who is there to blame? I let her in her room after fetching the master key, and she never looked at me in the eye since then, I guess she felt too awkward.

Ahh.. memories. I remember the only time I got locked out.. it wasn’t that embarrassing. Someone was throwing blank CDs like Frisbee’s in the hall and I stepped out to see who it was when the wind decided to shut my door.

It wasn’t my fault.

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28. Bumping into an ex

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(ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-best friend, ex-boss, etc.)

..when you’re with your new partner, while you’re with your parents, when you’re out buying feminine hygiene items, when you aren’t dressed your best, when she’s with someone new, when you can’t avoid each other and are forced to speak, catching up and finding out that he’s actually happy. . . the list goes on and on.

Different people take different roles when it comes to this situation.

The Hider:

  • Approach: Go as far away from the sighting as possible.
  • Interaction: N/A
  • Reasoning: “I just don’t want her to see me.”
The Brag:
  • Approach: Finds a mirror, fixes makeup, and pretends bumping into each other was a coincidence.
  • Interaction: Brags, very subtly, about how awesome her life is. Pretends to be interested in the other’s life.
  • Reasoning: “He has to know what he’s missing out on, even though I’d never take him back.”
The Just Sad:

  •  Approach: Goes directly toward her and attempts to find out how she’s doing.
  • Interaction: Comes off as overly-interested. Apologizes every other word, and asks for permission to call her again.
  • Reasoning: “She’ll come back to me someday.”
The “Friend”:
  • Approach: Spots him and goes to say “hi” immediately
  • Interaction: Friendly. They both seem happy to be talking to one another, and say “we should hang out sometime!” (but never actually do it).
  • Reasoning: “He was an important part of my life, we’re still good friends.”
I’ve known people that fit those roles, and have probably taken on one myself.
Question 1: Have you ever met people that fit those roles?
I’m very interested in finding out what you think about that last one, and I’m sure many other people also want to know what’s on your mind regarding this:
Question 2: Is it O.K. for exes to remain friends?
I’ll post my opinion in the comments.

26. Tripping and falling

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You would assume that after living for a while, a person might at least be skilled in something called walking. And its true, over the years we’ve gotten better and better at walking (with few exceptions). So it is natural to feel uncomfortable when someone falls in public.

This is one of those double-sided awkward moments, in which the person whom the situation directly involves feels it, and the spectator feels awkward as well.

The faller: First of all, that sucks. Second, what the heck are you supposed to do once everybody gets to see you fail at walking? Maybe something got in the way (a cat, banana peel, etc.) but that doesn’t matter anymore. You’re on the ground, and now its time to avoid the stares. Here’s what to do:

1) Avoid eye contact with those around you, they’re only looking at you to find out how you’re going to react, so choose your moves wisely.

2) If someone comes up to you and asks you if you’re O.K., remember that it is a natural reaction for people to ask that, and they’re not trying to embarrass you even more. People would probably watch someone get hit by a bus and still approach him with “Are you O.K.?”

3) Get back up and pretend it happens to you all the time. Or you could pretend that you decided to spontaneously drop for some random push-ups –you can say that its part of your workout program.

The spectator: C’mon.. laugh. You know you want to, jerk! I once started laughing uncontrollably as a girl fell and rolled down 4 steps at my university. I felt bad shortly after, but the fall was EPIC! She threw her book bag up, (wow.. I’m mean. I’m seriously laughing right now) and made a facial expression I had never seen and will probably never see again. Here’s what to do:

…

O.K. scratch that idea, you probably won’t do it. Let me just tell you what actually happens, I call it the Five Stages of Watching Someone Fall:

Surprise– It was definitely unexpected, and someone having a hard time with gravity surprises you. Your mind might hesitate on taking any specific action. Can be identified by a :O expression.

Acceptance- Yes, you realize that what you saw actually happened. And yes, you just witnessed it. This is the part where a dog would tilt his head to see things in a different perspective.

Conscience– This is the part where you become aware that you’re actually standing there, and people usually like to take this chance to look around. If present with a group of friends, eye-contact encounters will occur.

Confusion– Should you laugh? You might. Or you might try to help the person stand up. Maybe you should ignore it? What to do, what to do? After you’ve made your decision and carried through with it, you will reach the next and final level:

Analysis– This is where you think about your actions. Do you regret laughing? Was the fall preventable . . . did you cause it? These thoughts can lead you to guilt, deep philosophical thoughts, or more laughter.

Do you see why this is double sided? Awkward for the faller AND the spectator(s). A true awkward moment, I like these . . but I avoid them at all cost.

Image sources: top, bottom

23. When someone has a booger

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While in a comment conversation with Bee, an important question was brought up: will you say something about it, or pretend it is not there? When somebody has a little green thing sticking out of their nose, it is hard to look away. It’s almost like when someone has a pimple, you can’t avoid it. It’s there, creepily looking at you.

It’s embarrassing for the person who is looking at it. The booger person has no idea why you keep doing a weird shift of looking at her nose, then her eyes, then her nose, then her eyes.. while she’s trying to make eye contact with you. If you have ever been in one of these situations, you probably know how things usually go:

1) You try to look away every opportunity you get.

2) After attempting to not look at it, you find yourself doing so.

3) It becomes extremely difficult to focus on the conversation.

If you pretend it isn’t there, it will keep distracting you. If you decide to say something, you have to deal with the awkwardness that comes after.

What is the best thing to do in this situation?

Sources: Image, Idea

#17 The Sidewalk Dance

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I’ve seen this happen, but I never realized that it was awkward until it happened to me.

I had just gotten out of a meeting and was quite stressed out because I found out that one of my programs for student residents at my university dorm halls had to be postponed due to some paperwork problem. I left my coordinator’s office and went outside for a walk. Usually, I look up at the trees and say hello to people while I walk around, but not that time; my mind was elsewhere.

So while looking down at my blue Vans shoes cross the cracks on the sidewalk every other step, I encountered a pair of small black Converse shoes. I looked up and smiled nervously, a pretty girl had crossed my path, literally –and almost crashed into me. Almost immediately, I moved over to the left. But so did she. I shuffled over to the right. But again, so did she. This is where things got serious, no more messing around. I moved to the left and stayed there. . . at the same time that she did. Then I solved the problem by figuring out a cool trick: instead of moving in the other direction, I moved to the left again. Magic! It worked! At the time, I didn’t really stop to think of a solution, it came mostly by mistake. Oh well, great things are usually discovered by accident.

“There we go,” she said, “that was awkward.”

I replied, “It was fun, thanks for the dance.”

Of course, the encounter lasted no more than 5 seconds, but it seemed to take forever.The thing is, this –the Sidewalk Dance– kept happening with other people, up to the point where I believed that I was the cause of the problem; that I was doing something to trigger this. Though I still haven’t discovered exactly what I was doing, it was pretty awesome to begin getting used to awkward moments like these and finding the fun in them instead of making the situations worse for myself.

The laugh that the girl and I got from that Sidewalk Dance reminded me to smile again, and it changed my mood for the better even after having a rough start to my day. Awkward moments are awesome.

#15 When food falls before reaching your mouth

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You finally get to scoop up a large piece of delicious chicken. It has been specially cooked for you, just how you like it. You can smell it, and steam is still making its way up toward the heavens as it begins to approach your mouth. When suddenly…

It drops.

It is common from people from different cultures explain this rare phenomenon. One of the ones that I have actually started to believe says that when your food falls off your spoon it means that somebody, somewhere in the world, is craving the food you are about to eat.

So THEY’RE the cause of this!?

Ugh.

All anger set aside, the result can be pretty uncomfortable. It might fall on your plate, and you might give it a second shot. At this point, however, please be aware that it might fall a second time and you  know that saying (slightly modified for specific purposes):

“If you drop once, shame on you (food), if you drop twice, shame on me.”

But what if it falls on the table? If anybody watched you fail at eating, they suddenly might become judges. Will you pick up with your hand and eat it? Will you try to get it from the table with your fork? Will you put it back on your plate? Leave it there? Offer it to someone else? No one will be happy with your final decision, or they might just be happy with any of them because they just don’t care. They have their food, you have yours. Right?

Though I don’t specialize in techniques for eating, I can tell you how to settle this situation when it happens (because after all, I do specialize in awkward):

1) Whatever you decide to do with the food that fell off, do it instantly and have no regrets.

2) If someone at your table laughs at your misfortune, laugh about it. If you’re too angry to laugh, make up a story of why your food fell and tell them as though you actually believe it. Blame others if you have to.

3) If you do drop it on the table, a quick swipe of your napkin settles it (unless you’re a firm believer in the 5-second rule, where you have five seconds to pick up your food and eat it . . . follow your beliefs, I don’t discriminate.)

Remember: the food is yours.

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#13 Sex scenes

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When you’re on a date. When you’re with your best friend. When you just ate. When you need to pee. When you’re with your sister. When your parents are in the room. When it is an actual sex scene (the ones where you see the guy’s butt).

Suppose you’re on a date, watching a movie that involves a love scene. The scene could catch you by surprise, or it could be somewhat anticipated; either way the result is always awkward. The most common response is to sit very still and forget that you had been eating popcorn. If the scene catches you while you’re taking a sip of your drink, the straw is likely to stay in your mouth because you will freeze. Any type of twitching, readjusting, or any eye contact is strongly discouraged during these scenes.

Its a bit easier to manage when you’re with your best friend, mostly because you both know each other well enough to avoid talking about it after the movie.

If you need to use the restroom, be careful. Dirty minds might assume that you aren’t going to do the regular restroom business. Enough said.

“Whoa, would you look at that..? Are they .. really doing it? Honey! Honey, come over quick!”

Parents are embarrassing sometimes.

I avoid those movies as much as possible because of these situations. I mean what if its one of those intense scenes where they last more than a minute, up to the point where you want to look around to see what everyone’s expression is, things get a bit uncomfortable. I’m sure movie makers are aware of this and adjust the movies accordingly, but then again I’ve heard a lot about people that watch a movie because they hear rumors of a sex scene between top celebrities, and they just have to see it for themselves.

Freakin’ sex scenes.