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The 7 Facebook Personality Types

November 1, 2013 by Edwin C. 8 Comments

Most of us have a Facebook page. It went from something we used to post on every day and check all the time, to a way to message our friends anytime we were logged in (aka 24 hours a day), to something we just check when we’re bored and keep mostly because we don’t want to lose all of our records of our internet lives.

Of course, with time, Facebookers have developed their own personalities and styles. Here are your Top 7 Facebook Personality Types:

1. The Liker

They added you after some party in college thinking you two were going to hang out sometime, and you never did because, well, that’s how it goes all the time. Maybe you two became Facebook fiends because you got introduced by one of your real friends but didn’t really talk. And you still don’t. You two added each other and never commented on each other’s cat pics or anything. All they do now is “Like”. Every single post, even if it’s “omg! My fart smells like a salmon roll!”

2. The Relative

This is why sometimes you hold back on certain posts or jokes. It’s funny until your aunt or uncle ruins it by commenting on everything. Some of them even add their name at the end as if it were a letter. C’mon people, it’s a comment.

3. The Bragger

The person who is straight up successful. Traveling, making money, going to great parties, trying out the best restaurants.. Or so it seems from their Facebook page. Apparently having all that stuff isn’t enough since they are still starving for Likes. Listen man, you can only post a certain amount of pictures of you on a yacht before your posts only get you one Like. From your Mom.

4. The Activist

Or “Activist”. I mean yeah recycling is good for the earth or whatever but you have to stop sending me invites to your Southeastern African weasel anti extinction protests behind a Petco on a Saturday morning. Keep doing what you’re doing, just calm down. My protest banner says: You’re Annoying!

5. The Heartbroken

Making vague posts about a mystery person referred to as “him” or “her”. Copying and pasting blocks of text from cliche romantic novels and “notes to self” reassuring your self-worth. Listen girl, you’re worth it. We got your message. He doesn’t deserve you, got it. You’re highly desirable, of course. Get back on the horse and get off Facebook. Your friends will feel sorry for you only for your first 29 posts on how movies portray love as a game and how much you’re happy being single.

6. The Feminist

Ah, the feminist. You may have heard about Miley Cyrus, crap about American Eagle or Hollister (or what ever brand that doesn’t like fat people), and on political decisions regarding equality. Yes equality is good… We know. But why so angry? You seem to get pissed off by everything. And you don’t just post one or two lines as a rant! You go all out! You post links to internet articles and 45 minute YouTube videos that nobody watches voluntarily.

7. The Linker

“Click on this!” He said. “It is soooo funny!” He said. This person likes to copy and paste things. They may actually spend their time on a Google searching for “cool Facebook statuses” and claim as his or her own. From links about recent news to videos of two turtles doing it, this person has pasted it:

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: awkward, Facebook, funny, humor, humour, life, people, relationships, thoughts

Awkward Valentine's Day Cards

February 13, 2013 by Edwin C. 7 Comments

Looking for some Valentine’s Day cards?

The day is a little awkward, let’s admit that to ourselves. Guys must look all anti-macho walking around with flowers, or thinking of something cheesy to do, and girls are all getting depressed and buying more servings of cookie dough. Hallmark should’ve thought of some other thing to celebrate besides this awkward stuff.

You know, in Spanish, Valentine’s Day is referred to as El dia del amor y la amistad, which translates directly to “the day of love and friendship.” I think that makes more sense.

Oh well, as promised:

Awkward Valentine’s Day Cards

1. For the I-don’t-know-what to say person
Awkward Valentine Card

2. For the “Just friends? Yeah right, no one’s buying it” e-card

Awkward Valentine Card

3. For your next ex-boyfriend

Awkward Valentine Card

4. For the newly coupled (See: Valentine’s Day for Couples Who Just Started Dating)

Awkward Valentine Card

5. For the awkward people out there. Yay, us! 

Awkward Valentine Day

6. For the settlers (get it? No? Ok, nevermind.)

Awkward Valentine Day

7. For the bro

Awkward Valentine Day

Images  obtained from:
someecards.com
cltampa.com
babble.com
sunsetintherearview.com

Bonus:

Attention all bloggers!

If you have an awkward date, get rejected, get caught cheating, over spend, break up, or end up in some uncomfortable situation this [or a past] Valentine’s Day, please share it with me and the people who accidentally stumble upon this site every day. You’ve probably noticed the awkward stories that get posted in the comments section all around this place, now it’s time to make them public! Don’t be scared to share, you get used to it eventually, trust me.

Awkward Valentine Day

To submit your story, or questions (yes, I get the usual “Is it disrespectful to respond to a text while on the toilet bowl?” advice question for some reason), just look for the link titled “Submit” at the top of the homepage and enter it into the form. If you’re too cool for that, email me at awkwardlist [at] gmail [dot] com (substitute in the @ and . ). Minimum 6 words, maximum 70,000 words. It’s the first time I ever try this so please send me some stories to work with, otherwise it’ll just get really awkward around here. And no, this isn’t exclusively for Valentine’s Day-type-stuff, general awkwardness is accepted.

As always, if you have questions contact ME via Twitter, or via Awkward List’s Facebook page (what?) Yeah! The blog also has it’s own Twitter page for those who can’t follow via RSS, WP, email, or Facebook.. Posts get added on there right after I hit “publish” on here. 94 followers on Facebook, and 3 followers on Twitter (haha, yeah including me), but still, you guys ROCK!

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: awkward, Facebook, humor, humour, life, love, Opinions, random, relationships, twitter

Top 7 Most Awkward Moments on Facebook

July 31, 2012 by Edwin C. 13 Comments

There are a lot of awkward moments on Facebook.

A LOT.

Some of these are brought up by the website itself, you know, like when your enemy shows up in your friend suggestions, but some of them have to do with what we put on there. Yes, so sometimes its our fault when things get awkward on Facebook. Let us begin this in reverse count-down form. I guess that’s just count-up, form. Right?

Which pretty much means in regular order starting from 1.

Just go with it, guys ..come on:

1. The Deceiving Profile Picture

Seriously ladies. I know we’ve talked about this one here, let me see if I can find the post.. … OH! Here it is, The misleading profile picture. The image of the fat cat on there cracks me up every time. Anyway, whenever someone is showing me profile pictures, they take the time to tell me “Oh that’s not what she actually looks like” because, well, its true. Some people take a billion self-portraits and pick the top 1%, and THEN spend hours deciding on which one to post, which ends up looking nothing like the actual person.

2. People You May Know

More like people-you-don’t-want-to-add-but-here-they-are-anyway-mua-ha-ha. I’ve seen girlfriend’s ex-boyfriends on there, people that I no longer talk to, childhood friends that I can’t talk to about anything since the only thing we had in common was liking Power Rangers, and getting in trouble together for flushing juice cartons down the toilet in kindergarten. You add them and then what do you say? “Hey how’ve you been?” ..cricket.. cricket.. (or is it ‘chirp.. chirp..’? ..whatever.)

3. The Ads

Facebook is smart. When you enter your likes, age, relationship status, sexual orientation, and such, they target ads to you. We once logged into a friend’s Facebook profile and changed his “Interested in Women” to “Interested in Men” and he only noticed because he started getting gay advertisements, asking him to join gay dating websites. Here’s what to expect:

  • Are you over 21? -Beer, parties, careers
  • Single? -Dating websites, games
  • Woman? -Fashion, magazine subscriptions

Sometimes the randomest ads find me, things like obscure campaigns to legalize marijuana, Oprah’s book club, Christian dating. And I have no likes and info about myself on there.

4. The Awkward “Seen” Feature

Oh you know what I’m talking about. Its on the Chat app. When you send a message to someone, it shows when the person saw the message and displays “Seen on 07:21” to the sender. Goodbye to being able to ignore a message and then say that you never read it. Goodbye to taking your time to replying to messages. Hello awkward. Expect a post on this topic soon, you guys have to have some stories to share regarding this.

5. When a Good Facebook Status Gets Ruined by a Relative

Who invited THEM? Just kidding ..sort of. Sure we enjoy having Uncle Ben on there, but must he really comment on every status and embarrass you in front of your friends? Or how about when someone ruins a funny Facebook status with a serious comment? Its like wow, talk about buzz kill.

6. The Ticker

The ticker feature is the thing that shows up on the left sidebar of your homepage showing what every single person on your friends list is doing, liking, and commenting on. Trust me when I say “everything”. It shows you when a person likes pictures, and I’m sure you have that ONE friend that spams your feed with pictures of cats. Well imagine that, but for every person, for every thing. I wouldn’t complain about this if it wasn’t addicting to look at it, but once you see it, your eyes can’t go away from it. It just keeps updating. All the freakin’ time. Sometimes you see something that make you say “Oh HELL no!” *insert a Z-snap here* “She’s still talking to him?” and then you tell your friend who tells their friends and then you have rumors and you know the rest.

7. The Things You Learn About a Person Without Actually Talking to Them

Suppose you meet someone, and he or she interests you. You think about asking if he or she is in a relationship, but if you two end up adding each other on Facebook, you’ll find out anyway. You will also find about his or her favorite movies, books, quotes, and if this person is a dog person or a cat person so what’s the point of asking these things? Is Facebook making us socially awkward? Uh oh. Sometimes a person begins to tell you about something they talked about with someone on Facebook, not knowing that you already know thanks to your Facebook feed. It shows the wall posts, the conversations, and comments. Of course you’re not going to let them know of this, so you’ll just pretend its the first time you hear about it and react accordingly.

Oh, Facebook.

So. Awkward.

——

Awkward Awesome Posts:

  • Is judgment/being judgmental a natural thing?
  • Why do we always think the worst?

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: awkward, Facebook, humor, life, random

106. Bumping into someone you have as a friend on Facebook, but don't talk to in real life

February 13, 2012 by Edwin C. 15 Comments

Yeah.  [Read more…] about 106. Bumping into someone you have as a friend on Facebook, but don't talk to in real life

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: awkward, Facebook, humor, iphone, life, random, relationships, thoughts, twitter

102. A misleading profile picture

December 5, 2011 by Edwin C. 8 Comments

So one of the most common things that people hanging around Facebook all day tend to do is look at pictures. [Read more…] about 102. A misleading profile picture

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: awkward, Facebook, humor, life, random, thoughts

Back in California!

August 28, 2011 by Edwin C. 2 Comments

Hola! [Read more…] about Back in California!

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: california, Facebook, Florida, life, Texas, thoughts, travel, United States

83. When someone talks to you while you're pooping

August 25, 2011 by Edwin C. 4 Comments

“Uh, I’m a little busy right now.. ” [Read more…] about 83. When someone talks to you while you're pooping

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: awkward, bathroom, Facebook, humor, life, random, thoughts, Toilet, twitter

77. Questioning if you should "Like" something on Facebook

August 16, 2011 by Edwin C. 23 Comments

“Tom Smith likes Magnum XL Trojan condoms”
Like? Comment?  [Read more…] about 77. Questioning if you should "Like" something on Facebook

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: awkward, blogging, Facebook, humor, life, random, technology, thoughts

Hello world!

August 5, 2011 by Edwin C. 5 Comments

Check out the welcome message! [Read more…] about Hello world!

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: author, blog, blogger, blogging, books, community, Facebook, friends, group, internet, life, linkedin, post, tumblr, twitter, typepad, WordPress, writing, xanga

70. Someone you unfriended requests you on Facebook

August 3, 2011 by Edwin C. 14 Comments

I know what you writers are about to say: “It isn’t ‘unfriend’ it is ‘defriend’ ”

Well I have news for you guys! [Read more…] about 70. Someone you unfriended requests you on Facebook

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: awkward, Facebook, friends, groups, humor, life, people, random, relationships, social, thoughts

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