iphone

iPhone's New Politically Correct Emoji Awkwardness

April 20, 2015 by Edwin C. Leave a Comment

Every once in a while, pretty much every day, I get a new update notification for one of my devices. A phone update, a software update, or a notification somewhere to download something to make life better. Apple just recently updated my iPhone with a new layout for those emoji icons, and I noticed something cool: there are hands for white people, yellow people, brown people, black people, red people, blue people, and purple people. Just kidding, not that many colors.

I think it is pretty cool stuff. Now I get to use a brown “thumbs up” emoticon because if I use another color, people will think that I am trying to be someone that I’m not.

They also made gay couple ones, and a bunch of other kinds. I still haven’t discovered all of them just yet, but I noticed that they added more flags of the world. There is a Mexican flag now, woo! Go Mexico!

Though yes, they may be opening up a door for those people who like to complain about everything, they might say that Apple discriminates because they didn’t match their correct skin color, or that they’re missing a bowl of Fruit Loops on there because it is their favorite kind of cereal.

I found one of these really cool, I like the running people:

But okay, seriously what is up with the horse rider. They all look the same to me:

Oops, was that racist?

I’m kidding guys. But seriously, don’t they all look the same?

106. Bumping into someone you have as a friend on Facebook, but don't talk to in real life

February 13, 2012 by Edwin C. 15 Comments

33. Getting hit on

May 20, 2011 by Edwin C. 6 Comments

First of all, I would like to apologize to the guy from Starbucks, I will tell the internet about his awkward moment. He is the main character of today’s story:

After spending 6 hours in the university library, I decided to take a break and head out into the real world to get a cup of coffee at another Starbucks (we have one on our campus). It was finals week, and I was bored to death by the American government studies, I just needed to see things other than the black Times New Roman letters in my American Government textbook and my unreadable notes.

I arrived with a big bag filled with notes, a laptop, charger, pens, highlighters.. you know, the student essentials. After putting my things on a chair next to a man (who was talking on the phone), I noticed a very attractive woman standing by the teas and other stuff that Starbucks sells. She must have been in her mid-twenties, tall with long dark hair, and wearing a black dress. I asked her if was waiting in line. She said no, and I proceeded onto ordering coffee from the tall barista guy.

Since ordering plain coffee takes around 10 seconds, I stepped back and waited for it before heading back to my chair. Then I saw the cell phone man approaching the woman. Was he doing it? Yes he was! He was going to go up to her and talk to her. Big move. [Whenever I tell this story, I like to imagine that everybody put their coffee down, the music stopped playing, and all eyes focused on the man about to do what no other man in the shop was willing to do: talk to “her”.] I must have been around 3 feet away from all of the action.

“Hey” said the man.

“Hi.” the woman politely replied, with a smile.

“Ordering some coffee, huh?”

“No, I’m just waiting” said the woman

“Oh,” said the man, “Do you come here often?”

Do you come here often? DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN?!? He asked her one of those questions that just give it away! It’s like saying “How YOU doin’ . . .” At this point, I gave up all hope on the man. He pretty much flipped a coin and was either about to face rejection or success.

“Sorry. I’m actually waiting for my boyfriend.” the woman said, with an “I feel sorry for you” look on her face.

“Oh, cool. Your boyfriend.” –awkward.

“Yeah,” she said, pointing at the guy taking orders at Starbucks “that’s him.”

At this moment, I looked at the barista guy, and he just smiled at the man and started to shake his head a little. I felt embarrassed for the man. He just walked back to his chair without saying another word. I didn’t know how to pretend that I hadn’t just witnessed something like that. I was hoping for the moment to end when, suddenly..

“Edwin!”

I heard my name from the other side of the shop.

“Edwin! A tall coffee?”

Oh, right. My coffee. Those 10 seconds seemed way too long.

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22. Public restrooms

May 5, 2011 by Edwin C. 4 Comments

Some restrooms at smaller places, such as coffee shops, usually are Single Rider restrooms. This particular type of restroom only has a one person limit with one toilet, one sink, one of everything. They’re very comfortable, actually. Not having to deal with stalls, or making eye contact with other people and no need to follow urinal laws.

The experience, however, has a different side to it; a very uncomfortable one.

After having to hold it for a while, you finally find a restroom and head right in. You poop (while checking your email, new text messages, perhaps play a short Angry Birds session on your iPhone, you know, the usual), and feel very relaxed. Suddenly, you hear something unexpected.

A knock on the door startles you and then you begin to feel the pressure. That’s right, friend. That is one of the sacrifices we must make in order to enjoy the luxury of one of these restrooms. At this moment, you must say something, otherwise this gives the person waiting full right to attempt to open the door. A typical response is “BUSY!” That should keep them away; well maybe just a couple of meters from the door anyway.

It can be very uncomfortable to be rushed when you’re taking care of business to know that someone is waiting for you to finish. It might even cut off the drive you had built up. Once you finish though, follow post-restroom protocol please. Fortunately for you, there is a quick way to remember what to do before you leave the restroom. Just remember C.H.I.T.

C- Cover. The seat cover must’ve flushed. Oh and make sure its not stuck to your pants. It doesn’t only happen in movies, trust me.

H- Hair. Leaving hair on the toilet seat or anywhere in the sink is just not cool, please remove it.

I- Instruments. Make sure that all bathroom equipment is fully functional, and that your poop has left the toilet bowl.

T- Toilet paper. All soiled paper must be properly disposed of.

What this acronym will not save you from, though, is the awkwardness that comes after leaving the restroom and having an encounter with the person that was waiting. The last thing they saw before they stepped into restroom was your face, and their objective as soon as they step in is to assess the environment, primarily the odor.

You might encounter people that leave restrooms saying:

“Uh, yeah.. you don’t want to go in there.”

“I dropped a bomb, heads up.”

“..sorry..” Or they might just smile at you.

I’m still not sure which one of those is most awkward, but they’re all pretty high up there. Don’t worry though, usually people that are willing to wait for you outside of the restroom probably have to use it badly, so they won’t mind the smell that much (unless its toxic), but they will mind anything on the CHIT list.

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