love

7 Most Awkward Meals to Eat on Your First Date

April 24, 2014 by Edwin C. 11 Comments

First dates are awkward enough already. Trying to find something to talk about, trying to leave a good impression, and making sure that there is no cilantro on your teeth are some of the basics. But if you want to step out of the “he orders a steak, she orders a salad” type of thing, make sure you don’t step out too far and enter.. The Awkward Zone.

Let’s get started:

7. The Burrito – Well, maybe some people out there may find burrito-eating attractive.

6. Spicy Soups – Runny noses, sniffles, and red eyes are not going to impress your date. Unless you can handle it without having to blow your nose halfway through, avoid super spicy stuff in general.

5. Chicken Wings – Oh, that is beautiful.

4. Things With Eyes On It – I was trying to add a picture of a pig’s head on here, but I couldn’t. It just looks like murder. Oh man, I can’t believe people can just eat stuff with eyes. That is actually one of my secrets, by the way. I have a very tough time eating something with eyes on it, even fish and shrimp. Having an animal on your plate is harsh enough.

3. Smelly Stuff – If it has been fermented, has strong garlic, or any other lingering ~~stink~~ smell, avoid it for a while. Those do not go away overnight. Literally speaking.

2. Things That Require a Double Dip – The famous egg roll. There is a reason why people opt for the mini version of these. Some couples are all into double dipping into the dressings and dips, but other people absolutely hate it. Sucks, so much sauce goes to waste.. man..

1. Extra Crunchy Foods – I don’t mind the sound of crunchy foods, but I have heard this from many people in the past. And during a first date, where they can be a lot of awkward silences, crunching sounds taking over may not be the best idea. If you’re at a loud bar or restaurant, go for it.

What are some foods that you would NOT recommend to people on their first date?

How to Not Be in a Relationship

February 10, 2014 by Edwin C. 1 Comment

Let’s clear something up, if you are looking for advice on how to not behave when you’re in a relationship please refer to Cosmopolitan magazine. This is different. With Valentine’s Day coming up, people begin to make up feelings toward one another that go away as soon as you see each other without hair product. Few things can be as awkward as having someone, who you do not intend to start a relationship with, confess their feelings for you. Or the awkwardness of first dates. I’ve asked a question to several single friends for some time now, and there always seems to be a common answer after I push for a more truthful, not-afraid-of-being-judged, answer.

“For some reason, people always try to push others into a relationship. They try to set you up with people, and when they find out that you’re single, they feel some obligation to try to ‘help’ by giving you advice on how to find somebody. How do you feel about that? Would you like to be in a relationship with someone at this point in your life?”

“No, not right now. There’s lots of things I want to finish.”

“I know, right? Why can’t people understand that I’m happy like this? I guess it would be nice, but maybe later.”

“I don’t know, but that’s why I avoid going to family events. So I’m 27 and single; we live in different times, people!”

I was expecting an answer like that. So I rephrased it, and asked again. Eventually, I found a pattern. So let’s say you don’t really don’t want a relationship then. That means you’d avoid it, right? You might be shaking your head right now. Aha! So you’d consider it. The truth is, you are avoiding it. You may not be fully conscious of it, but ask yourself you’re doing any of the following things.

How to Not Be in a Relationship

Decrease your odds

Stay as close to home as possible, and refuse to meet other people. For example, let’s say you have a business and want nobody to know about it, what do you do? Don’t tell anybody about it! Have it there and available, but do not expose it to new potential clients. The same goes with you, the less you go out and meet new people, the less likely you are to end up in something you don’t want to be a part of.

Focus only on yourself

People who end up in relationships are usually those who want to share things. You don’t want that. Don’t worry about other people, just do your thing and let others deal with theirs. Be careful though, some people are attracted to those who show that they don’t need anyone else. My suggestion is to add a little bit of douchiness to it.

Count on fate

Some people think that they will be approached in a coffee shop by someone who is fascinated by the book you are reading and will propose there on the spot. Or that you’ll bump into a girl and help someone pick up her books only to make eye contact and fall in love. That usually never happens, so if you do that… you are likely to avoid a relationship.

Pretend to be someone you are not

Oh that works like a charm! Everybody dislikes someone like that.

Think that you need a relationship to be happy

For some reason, people who are always claiming to want a relationship in order to be happy don’t end up in one, so it may be smart to follow their lead and do what they do. Let’s see… what do they do besides watching romantic comedies by themselves while eating microwave pizza? They chase the wrong people, have low self-esteem, and feel sorry for themselves. Yeah, do that.

The end.

In case you forget, just remember DFCPT.. haha “DFCPT?” ok, that didn’t work out the way I was hoping it would.

Did I miss anything?

But wait, there’s more!

Its funny how a single decision in your life leads to many others, and they always make interesting stories. Meeting each other in a new city. Getting a job because someone dropped out, and marrying your cubicle-mate. What were the odds of that?

Why don’t you share your story? It can be funny, boring, embarrassing, or extremely cliché.

Instead of giving general advice that you can find in a free magazine at your taco stand, let’s hear some stories from real people in order to give hope to others who are searching and find it impossible to find somebody during these times as we approach a Hallmark holiday. I’d like you to:

Share the story of how you met someone special. Type it up, it can be as long or as short as you want.
Submit it on this website via a comment, the “Submit” page on the top of this website, or on your own blog and share the link on here.
Read your own story along with the stories of other people on a story post to be published this upcoming Friday morning.

How to Act Like Yourself Around Your Crush

June 17, 2013 by Edwin C. 9 Comments

150. Trying to act cool around someone you like

You hear about this all over the place: When you tell a couple of friends that you have a huge crush on some girl, and then they try to leave you two alone, and suddenly their new life goal is to make it awkward for you every time she’s around.

Like if she comes by and sits next to you, everyone suddenly starts looking at you two. As if a rainbow is going to show up above both of you out of nowhere.

Of COURSE it is difficult to act like yourself around your crush, so here are some tips to follow:

1. Don’t tell the whole world about it, at least not right away. They will make it awkward for you and for the other person. Guaranteed. Even if they don’t do it directly, you’re bound to become more self-conscious. That leads to awkwardness.

2. Stop talking so much. Enough said.

3. If you’re acting too nervous, take a break. Tell him/her that you have to use the restroom, have to answer a phone call, or that you need to feed your Tamagotchi really quick. Anything to get you out of there to give you about 45 seconds to regroup and calm down.

4. Be yourself. Unless you kinda suck. Most people don’t, so you’re most likely clear and are OK with just being yourself. You want this person to like you for who you are, right?

Things get pretty uncomfortable around that one special person:

Suddenly your planned conversations fail right after saying “Hello,” and other times you can’t keep your voice from cracking, or acting shaky and nervous. Perhaps you find yourself saying “me too” way too often, or you act so strange that the other person ends up asking you if you’re OK.

Anyone been in a situation like that? What would your advice be?

Awkward Valentine's Day Cards

February 13, 2013 by Edwin C. 7 Comments

Looking for some Valentine’s Day cards?

The day is a little awkward, let’s admit that to ourselves. Guys must look all anti-macho walking around with flowers, or thinking of something cheesy to do, and girls are all getting depressed and buying more servings of cookie dough. Hallmark should’ve thought of some other thing to celebrate besides this awkward stuff.

You know, in Spanish, Valentine’s Day is referred to as El dia del amor y la amistad, which translates directly to “the day of love and friendship.” I think that makes more sense.

Oh well, as promised:

Awkward Valentine’s Day Cards

1. For the I-don’t-know-what to say person

2. For the “Just friends? Yeah right, no one’s buying it” e-card

3. For your next ex-boyfriend

4. For the newly coupled (See: Valentine’s Day for Couples Who Just Started Dating)

5. For the awkward people out there. Yay, us!

6. For the settlers (get it? No? Ok, nevermind.)

7. For the bro

Images obtained from:
someecards.com
cltampa.com
babble.com
sunsetintherearview.com

Bonus:

Attention all bloggers!

If you have an awkward date, get rejected, get caught cheating, over spend, break up, or end up in some uncomfortable situation this [or a past] Valentine’s Day, please share it with me and the people who accidentally stumble upon this site every day. You’ve probably noticed the awkward stories that get posted in the comments section all around this place, now it’s time to make them public! Don’t be scared to share, you get used to it eventually, trust me.

To submit your story, or questions (yes, I get the usual “Is it disrespectful to respond to a text while on the toilet bowl?” advice question for some reason), just look for the link titled “Submit” at the top of the homepage and enter it into the form. If you’re too cool for that, email me at awkwardlist [at] gmail [dot] com (substitute in the @ and . ). Minimum 6 words, maximum 70,000 words. It’s the first time I ever try this so please send me some stories to work with, otherwise it’ll just get really awkward around here. And no, this isn’t exclusively for Valentine’s Day-type-stuff, general awkwardness is accepted.

As always, if you have questions contact ME via Twitter, or via Awkward List’s Facebook page (what?) Yeah! The blog also has it’s own Twitter page for those who can’t follow via RSS, WP, email, or Facebook.. Posts get added on there right after I hit “publish” on here. 94 followers on Facebook, and 3 followers on Twitter (haha, yeah including me), but still, you guys ROCK!

Calling your boyfriend/girlfriend by an ex's name

February 12, 2013 by Edwin C. 8 Comments

lalalalala..

Conversation is going smoothly. Lalala.. wait for it..

Boom!

Wait, let me do that again:

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!1!1!!

It just slipped out, you said it.

Sometimes I wonder about those women who change boyfriends all the time, I mean how do they keep track of their names and such? How do they remember the guy’s favorite color or his favorite food? How do they not get names confused?

One of the posts that got Freshly Pressed on here — *applause* ..oh, thanks guys! ..*you guys are still applauding* thank you, thank you! *you guys don’t calm down* [barely audible: thank you guys, really] *applause* Thanks! *applause fades* … So what was I saying? Ah yes, the Freshly Pressed post —*applause*

Ok! Guys, seriously!

The freshly pressed post was titled “Forgetting someone’s name“, and even though it wasn’t that great or anything, it shows that this stuff is pretty common. When someone calls you by name, and you can’t remember their name, it makes the whole thing uncomfortable. The thing here is a little different though, you didn’t forget their name, you actually remembered someone else’s instead of their own.

I’ve been called Mike, Edgar, and even Hen. Every single one of those times, I just pretended I didn’t hear it. They noticed. And I let them simmer in the awkwardness.

And the same has happened the other way around. I made an interesting discovery: people will not usually call your attention to it. Though I am sure you can think of that one person that is not afraid of causing drama and will say “What did you just call me?”

In relationships though, things are a little different. It seems like even the simple things, such as farting, become a huge deal. Even liking or commenting on someone else’s photos can get you in trouble.

Things can get pretty crazy if you get the name wrong, just sayin’.

Well maybe that is a little extreme, but people get mad and feelings get hurt through that honest mistake.

Be careful. But don’t think about it too much because then you’re going to do it and then blame me for it. I don’t want that.

Have you ever been in an uncomfortable situation like that with your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Let’s keep it PG-Rated 13. With just a splish splash of R.

Hahaha, kidding, jeez.

Rent a Boyfriend/Girlfriend for Valentine’s Day! (starpittsburgh.cbslocal.com)
In Defense of the Bitchy New Girlfriend (jezebel.com)
7 Things to do when things get awkward (awkwardlist.com) and hey look it’s our friend again!

Love: You KNOW This Story

June 22, 2012 by Edwin C. 5 Comments

Why do nice guys finish last? The girl ends up liking the jerk instead and blah blah blah.. its always the same thing. People have many explanations for this phenomenon.. why do YOU think it happens?

The topic of love is indeed an awkward one, from getting rejected, to awkwardness of dating life (yes, online too) , and dealing with exes.. so instead on focusing on the “why?” I’ll just .. uh, share this thing I made with you.

Share it with that one nice guy, who always finishes last.. he’ll get his turn.

Enjoy!

To share, use the buttons right at the end of this post to Tweet it, Like it, StumbleUpon it, +1 it, Digg it, Reddit it, Tumblr it, Press it, or Email it. Your click might make a difference to a nice guy out there. Maybe.

You’ll find some more of this random stuff on my Twitter or on Awkward List’s Facebook page!

How To Be Awkward: With Your Ex (collegecandy.com)
Save the Whales, Save the Awkwards (saucysays42.wordpress.com)

64. Finding out that you were on speakerphone

July 22, 2011 by Edwin C. 13 Comments

You’ve spoken on the phone before. It is usually safe to assume that you and the person on the other line are having a private conversation, and that nobody is listening in on what you two are talking about, right?

And lets admit it, some of those conversations are really supposed to be kept private. You may talk about how ugly someone looked in their outfit that day, or about how much you wish that your roommate would wear pants every once in a while. You can say rude things about other people, you can spill secrets, and confess who you really like over the phone to your closest friend; something you would like no one else to know or else, as some people might put it, your “life would be over”.

I was hanging out with a good friend (Angie) a couple of years ago, when she got a phone call from her boyfriend.

Angie: Hello?
Tom: Hey Ang, how are you doing today? You forgot to call last night.
Angie: I’m alright, I’m actually hanging out with Ed right now.
Tom: You’ve been hanging out with that guy a lot recently, is anything going on? Hasn’t his girlfriend broken up with him yet?
Angie: Babe, you’re on speaker.
Tom: Oh.
Angie: . . .
Tom: Well, um. . .
Angie: Yeah. . .
Tom: Uh. . . hi Edwin! How’s it going man? Wait, can he hear me?
Me: Yeah, I can hear you.
Tom: Great. That’s uh, great dude. So yeah man. . uhh. . .ahem.

And I’ll let you imagine the rest of the awkward conversation.

Have you ever mentioned something that you didn’t want someone else to hear while your friend had you on speaker?

Image source