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men
Checking yourself out on a reflective window
Men and women have a completely different way of approaching a reflective surface. Men typically look at themselves, and straighten up the posture and relax the shoulders.
Women, on the other hand, have a script written out detailing their every move. Let’s assume that you are a woman walking down the street at 7am, not many people are around and you are trying out a new shirt.
And, ACTION!
Woman is walking down the street. She spots a giant window belonging to a Thai restaurant to her right. Trying act all casual, she keeps walking, and glances at herself. Well more specifically, glances at HER BUTT.
It’s a “thing”.. Women enjoy checking out their butts.
Then she straightens out her shirt, she adjusts her skirt, makes sure she brings out the chest area, and bam! she’s good to go.
Some go as far as to walk up to the surface, smile very widely to check their teeth, and check those dark lines they paint around the eyes (I forget the name).
This seems like every day stuff to you guys, but have you ever been INSIDE a store or office, and have been able to witness such things happening? It happened to me while I was drinking some tea one morning. People would literally walk up to the window and stick out their butts while leaning their heads back, get rid of that wedgie, and keep walking. Dudes mostly adjusted their collars and straightened their posture.
Have you ever been checking yourself out on a window and then slowly the image of the people on the other side begins to become clear through the glass?
Whoops.
So awkward.
55. When you can hear people doing it
It is late at night, and you are finally getting ready to go to sleep. For two nights in a row, you’ve been awakened at night by a tapping noise coming from the apartment next to yours but cannot identify it in your half-asleep state –but not tonight. Tonight you will sleep like a baby. Teeth brushed, pajamas ready, and the alarm is set. You’ve been waiting for this moment all day. Suddenly you hear something. What? A song, a soft jazzy tune coming from your neighbor’s place. A voice begins to sing, and you can recognize it. Oh yes, you know this song:
I’ve been really tryin’ baby
Tryin’ to hold back this feeling for so long. . .
This late? Why would anyone be playing a song at this –Oh. Oh no.
. . . Let’s get it on, sugar
Let’s get it on
Whoo, ooh, ooh . . .
And there they go.
Whether the sound is coming from the apartment next door, or from the floor above yours, such a situation is just plain uncomfortable. What makes matters worse is that if it happens every night, you eventually start to become familiar with the sequence. Either a soft tapping noise that gets louder and louder, loud noises and a lot of squeaking, or it could happen like just like the above scenario. You’ll know the pattern, duration, intensity, etc. If you ever have overnight guests, and they’re about to complain about it, you might even tell them,
“Oh, don’t worry, they’ll be done in about 3 and a half more minutes.”
“How do you know?” they’ll ask.
“Uh. . .”
But what are you supposed to do? You can ask them to stop, ask them to keep it down, or let them be. Asking them to stop or keep it down is pretty awkward (and it isn’t very nice), but if you let them be, they won’t know that anybody can hear them and they will keep going at it for a while. Decisions, decisions.
. . . Just let yourself go
Oh, baby
Let’s get it on . . .
(Song: Let’s Get It On, Marvin Gaye)