Awkward List

Awkward moments and more weird stuff

movie

38. Looking at the dead guy in a movie

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You’re watching a movie. In some heroic attempt, an important character ends up in a horrible accident and is now dying in the arms of somebody.

The dying dude finally dies, and then here comes an epic speech from the person watching the dude die. She might cry and yell out how much he meant to her and about all of the people that he affected while he was alive. She might be cursing at the guy for dying, or letting him know that she’s grateful that he finally died . . what?! Yes. Actually, I don’t know and maybe neither do you because a large percentage of people pay very little attention to what is going on after a person dies because we find ourselves looking at the dead guy to see if he’s moving.

We become doctors, checking his neck for a pulse, watching his chest for any signs of breathing, or his eyes for any twitching that might show us a sign of life! Who knows why people even bother to do this. Chances are the man isn’t actually dead in the movie, so yes people he is alive, he’s just doing his job of playing dead as one of his major tasks before receiving his final paycheck for the job.

Some people even say “Hey man, check it out, he’s breathing.” And the other movie watcher will respond with “Oh yeah I saw that!”. Instead of you guys paying attention to what’s going on in the movie, you focus on the part of the screen that isn’t moving (or at least trying not to move) because its a dead guy!

Guilty! I catch myself looking at the dead people to see if they move..

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#13 Sex scenes

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When you’re on a date. When you’re with your best friend. When you just ate. When you need to pee. When you’re with your sister. When your parents are in the room. When it is an actual sex scene (the ones where you see the guy’s butt).

Suppose you’re on a date, watching a movie that involves a love scene. The scene could catch you by surprise, or it could be somewhat anticipated; either way the result is always awkward. The most common response is to sit very still and forget that you had been eating popcorn. If the scene catches you while you’re taking a sip of your drink, the straw is likely to stay in your mouth because you will freeze. Any type of twitching, readjusting, or any eye contact is strongly discouraged during these scenes.

Its a bit easier to manage when you’re with your best friend, mostly because you both know each other well enough to avoid talking about it after the movie.

If you need to use the restroom, be careful. Dirty minds might assume that you aren’t going to do the regular restroom business. Enough said.

“Whoa, would you look at that..? Are they .. really doing it? Honey! Honey, come over quick!”

Parents are embarrassing sometimes.

I avoid those movies as much as possible because of these situations. I mean what if its one of those intense scenes where they last more than a minute, up to the point where you want to look around to see what everyone’s expression is, things get a bit uncomfortable. I’m sure movie makers are aware of this and adjust the movies accordingly, but then again I’ve heard a lot about people that watch a movie because they hear rumors of a sex scene between top celebrities, and they just have to see it for themselves.

Freakin’ sex scenes.