We all know about it, we see news reports all over the place about how fat America is getting. Hmm.. I know there are readers out there from other countries, so here is a question for you: Do you see news reports on fat America in your area?
Here in the U.S. we see them all the time! They’re always like “We are fat! Obesity is a problem. It can lead to diabetes, high cholesterol, sudden death, heart attack, depression..” the list goes on and on (and on and on). These things appear on the news so often, you’d think people aren’t actually noticing this stuff on their own. We see big people out on the street all the time, but for some reason, the news people think its an awesome idea to show clips of fat people walking around on the street.
I drew up that thing in like 10 seconds, sorry for the quality, but the whole missing-people’s-heads part is totally accurate. They news people go around filming the bellies and big butts of people walking by, and they probably feel super proud of themselves when they score a fat person holding a bag of McDonald’s or a fat dude walking around with an overweight child. Can you imagine seeing yourself on one of those reports?
“Look, I’m on TV!”
Not.
It is a horrible thing. According to kidshealth.org, one in three children are overweight or obese.
But when I go pick up my little cousin from school, I see maybe one overweight kid out of a class of 20. I’m not sure if they took a survey outside of a food court or something, but it seems a bit exaggerated. I guess it makes sense though, don’t television network news channels get a kick out of scaring the crap out of everyone?
DEATH! VIRUS! WAR! MOTHER-IN-LAWS!
It’s like, dude c’mon!
Well since I’m not here to lecture on obesity, and we probably get enough of it elsewhere anyway, lets talk about the awkward moment when a fat people call themselves fat.
What are you supposed to do when a person calls himself/herself fat and they actually are?
I’ve tried to come up with something to say given the many opportunities I’ve had in this exact situation over the years, but I still cannot come up with a solid way out.. Hmm..
Let us look at our options:
- “No you’re not!”- You just lied. That’s awkward, and now they’re probably going to defend their statement and you’ll be forced to say “Ok, yeah you are.. sorry.”
- “Haha! No, I am!” – This might make you look like a jerk if you’re slim. Have you ever heard a person say something like that? They call themselves fat around a person that is actually overweight? Ugh.
- “Yeah, you are.. haha!” -Whoa, you did NOT just do that! Even though it was probably supposed to come off as a joke, its an awkward one because its true. Now you both have to pretend like it was actually funny and play it cool.
- “… … …” – You stay silent. According to the Code of Awkwardness, this qualifies as an Awkward Silence. If the topic doesn’t get changed immediately, it gets worse exponentially. So pretend to tie your shoe, act like your phone just vibrated, or say “I have hairy elbows” for instant relief.
OK, let’s hear it. What would you say?
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More awkward: