Awkward List

Awkward moments and more weird stuff

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Part of a complete breakfast

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ceerealI’m not sure if cereal commercials still say the whole “part of a complete breakfast” thing at the end, since I no longer watch cartoons and the advertisements aimed at my age group are more in the soda and cars categories. Here’s what I’m talking about: cereal commercials used to do their catchy jingle thing, blah blah our cereal is the best, try it.. blah, blah, and then….

They would show cereal, a glass of milk, a glass of orange juice, a muffin, an apple. I remember a Honey Nut Cheerios one that would have cereal, glass of milk, glass of orange juice, a croissant, grapes, and an apple.

I never ate cereal plus all those other things. Heck, sometimes I’d skip the milk.

I walked through the cereal aisle the other day at the grocery store, and I remembered exactly how I felt about it back in the day. I loved colorful or chocolaty cereals. Sugar with a hint of food coloring? Count me in! But as I was staring at a boring blue box of Total, I heard the high pitched voice of a little kid say “Excuse me?” and he walked right in front of me and grabbed a box of Lucky Charms (it had a free toy or something in there, too) and he walked back to his mom’s shopping cart.

Excuse me.. excuse me..

Why can’t I do that when I need something but a person is standing right in front of it?

It happens at bookstores, at yard sales, and definitely at the grocery store. If I need a can of chili and someone is standing there trying to decide if she wants her chili with beans or no beans, I just kinda hover around. I look up and down as if I can’t find the thing I’m looking for. 25% of the time the person figures it out and they move away (at which point you widen your eyes and pretend like you just found your item). The other times, I just kinda wait around.. and get closer to the person. I’m seriously starting to believe that strangers repel each other. You move closer, and they step away. Now THAT works most of the time.

If all else fails, you can always send your kid.

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Why having too many choices is pretevary

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What’s your favorite food?

(Oh and if you’re wondering what the word “Pretevary” means, I just made it up. Close that Google search. Sounds like a real word, doesn’t it?)

It was one of those questions that create bonds between children, just below the “who do you like?” question, which would prove how close your friendship really was. So upon being asked that recently, I looked away and went into deep thinking-mode. Then I came to a conclusion. Well it was more of a question: People have one favorite food?

I guess having more than one wouldn’t make it a “favorite” huh? Hmm.. When I was a little kid, it was cool to say “pizza” as your answer, because you know.. Ninja Turtles.. obviously..

Here’s the thing, whenever I go to a restaurant and take a look at a menu, I hope for a small list of items. If opening a menu feels like going to Walmart where dipping sauces get their own aisle, I will stick with the happy hour menu or go straight for the “Burger” section and pick the classic one. For those of you lucky to have eaten at In-N-Out, you know how popular they are, and you know that they don’t have a whole section for  fries. Three simple choices, and they’re numbered like this: 1, 2, and 3. A hamburger, a cheeseburger, or a double-double (double meat, double cheese).

So what do you expect me to say when I’m asked WHAT MY FAVORITE FOOD IS!?!?

http://funnelcloud.blogspot.com/2012/01/best-of-2011-best-food.html
http://funnelcloud.blogspot.com/2012/01/best-of-2011-best-food.html

AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!

How is someone supposed to decide on one thing out of one billion? I mean, c’mon if you could pick ONE food that you would eat every single day for the rest of your life, what would it be? Or hey, let me put it this way.. what if you got to pick your last meal ever, what would you decide on? Tough, right?

Ugh.

They say that there’s this thing called decision paralysis that people get upon being forced with the freedom that we get here in the USA. Check out all of the decisions we have to make every day:

  • A mocha? Latte? Cappuccino? Regular? What size? (short, tall, grande, venti, big gulp?) Sweetener? What kind? (Splenda, sugar, honey, Sweet and Low?) What is your name? (Yes, you obviously have to make one up for them to write on your cup)
  • What kind of bagel? (everything, raisin, blueberry?) What do you want on it? (cream cheese? jelly? Nutella? Yes. Nutella.)

And that’s just in the first two hours of being awake. So many choices, life comes with its own:

  • Who to date
  • Street or freeway
  • What songs to add to our playlist
  • What to read
  • What social media to use
  • What to get for lunch

You like choices, don’t you? Ugh get outta here, people. Just kidding. You guys are awesome.

I’m done!

Blah!

Its bacon by the way. My favorite food is bacon.

🙂