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Why They Check Your Receipt at Walmart

December 3, 2018 by Edwin C. Leave a Comment

They check your receipt at Walmart because they want to reduce the amount of theft at their store and, through research, they found that a customer knowing that receipts get checked is less likely to steal something.

Walmart has also tried having old people to say hello to you as you come in. They figured that maybe subconsciously you’ll feel like you’re stealing from a kind old lady if you are there to break the law.

I find it especially awkward when I don’t buy anything and they check your receipt at Walmart. I mean what the heck am I supposed to do?

Sometimes, when I’m walking by a store with automatic doors, and they open even though I’m not going inside, I feel like they’re welcoming me in and it would be rude not to go in. What? I know that’s weird. I’m just being honest with you guys.  That being said, I walk into many stores when I’m walking around the city. I seem to find the most random shops, and somehow manage to discover a new place every once in a while, just when I’m getting bored of seeing the same thing.

But see, I don’t enjoy spending money on impulse. If I see something I really like and MUST have, I still don’t buy it. It can be on sale, free with the purchase of a Coca Cola product, or come with a butler, but I’ll still hesitate because the guilt that comes afterward is unbearable. 

cartoon-bear-pictures

 

The other kind of bear.

So what I do instead is I walk in, I browse around, and hang out for a little while. I can see how it can be stressful to a liquor store owner, since I’m sometimes I walk around in a big jacket, beanie, and a pack.. so I look extra suspicious and they keep an eye on me the whole time I’m there.

What makes it even more awkward is when you begin to head to the door without buying anything, and for some reason can’t remember what you usually do with your hands when you’re walking. Hands in pocket? Too suspicious. Take out my cell phone? That’s an obvious sign of trying to avoid something. What are you avoiding, HUH?!

Do I just let them hang around like vines?! AHH!!!

Hands are weird.

So now you’re heading to the door which happens to have a security guard, a sign that shows that they usually get thieves around the store. He or she looks right at you, maybe not in a suspicious manner.

But even the friendly, “Have a nice day” can trigger a reaction.

“I’M INNOCENT!” you may scream, followed by the fight or flight response, which usually means you run out of the store with your hands up in the air.

The worst is when the store forces you to go through the cash registers in order to leave. You have to squeeze by, crotch to butt, with an 80-year old grandma counting pennies and picking out coupons. I’ve seriously considered purchasing something just to avoid the awkwardness.

Do you feel awkward leaving a store without buying anything?

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: awkward, humor, humour, life, money, shopping, thoughts

Not texting someone back and then seeing them in person

December 3, 2018 by Edwin C. 3 Comments

Who here has a habit of keeping their phone on silent mode, or at least telling the whole world that you do because you don’t reply to text messages right away? Do you guys know that little “Read” option that iMessage has?

Read Receipt iMessage
Read Receipt from iMessage

It literally tells the other person if you’ve read their message or not. I think it says a lot about a person when they have that notification on. However, I’ve found that this thing causes a lot more trouble when it is on because I read a message, I say “Uh huh,” to myself, and then I go back to Netflix and then… I get another message, or grunts (when I meet up with the friend), that I never reply to messages. I mean, HELLO! You got a notification that I read your freakin’ message already, that should be good enough, right?

No.

I’ve considered just replying with a message that says “I read this.” I mean, especially when all the message said was “Hey dude I’m eating a burrito that looks like my exes’ dog lol” What in the world am I supposed to reply to that?

Anyway, I’ve bumped into friends that ask me if I’ve changed my number just to poke at the idea that I didn’t reply to their messages. The truth is, sometimes I just don’t reply because I forget.

No really, I forget to reply because I read the message while I’m doing something like brushing my teeth or frying an egg, or out with friends. What happens is, I see the message.. and if it requires a reply: “Hey, I need your advice with something real quick, my girlfriend caught me checking out her mom.” (awkward), I’ll give an answer. If it is something like “hey wuts up” I just let it slide down the priority list while I finish the chapter of the book I’m reading. Next thing you know, it has been a week and I haven’t told that person “what is actually up” so I feel like a jerk.

Do you reply to your messages right away, every time?

Nooo.. seriously, guys. Do you?

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: advice, awkward, blogging, funny, humor, life, technology, thoughts

Awkward Family Holiday Parties

December 26, 2015 by Edwin C. Leave a Comment

Did any of you guys go to your in-law’s home for the holidays? Was it awkward? It’s weird, for a while now I have been getting invited to spend christmas in other people’s homes. This past Thanksgiving was spent eating bad Ecuadorian instant noodles and watching Netflix.

So I guess not that different than normal.

You know how when you enter someone’s home, their house has a very distinct smell to it…. but you can never identify your own house’s scent? Well in the same manner, family parties are a whole other beast to an outsider.

For one, you have several different types of relatives.

The Grandma, Version 1

The person that stays quiet most of the time, only to speak up to scold somebody. They like to help out around the kitchen, they keep to themselves, and falls asleep on the couch with everyone else around the living room.

The Grandma, Version 2

The kindest most awesomest person in the room that you just want to hug and have them make everything better. They smile, they’re the only ones who try to get to know you, and happens to always have a little kid on her lap.

The Rude Uncle or Brother-in-Law

The one who makes inappropriate comments about the way you’re eating sausage, or tells you that your mouth can open very wide to bite that turkey leg. They laugh at just about anything, but mostly their own jokes.

The Distant Relative

This is that chubby woman who comes up to you to say how much weight you’ve gained, and grabs your cheeks. You remember her from where you were a little kid and always wanted hated that “come say hi” thing your mom always says.

The Drunk Cousin

Yeah, we all know who we’re talking about.

Haha!

Well, things don’t actually have to be that awkward for everyone. There’s lots of things that certain families do that would seem weird to the rest of the world. At my house, sometimes we don’t all sit down to eat together but rather pick at the pots and pans whenever, even if not everything is ready yet.

And then sometimes we go to my aunt’s house and eat again afterward.

I went to a friend’s house once where his family served tacos for Thanksgiving and they were delicious.

What is one thing that your family does that is just plain weird to other people? Type it up, and submit your comment below!

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: awkward, christmas, family, food, holidays, humor, humour, journal, people, random, thoughts

November 23, 2015 by Edwin C. Leave a Comment

  

https://awkwardlist.com/5411/

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: humor, life, news, thoughts, usa

If you've ever needed this

October 1, 2015 by Edwin C. Leave a Comment

  

This blog is changing host (and other technical stuff)! That means the updates will no longer be showing up on your WordPress feed. If you’d like to keep in touch with me, please fill out the form on this page: Awkwardlist Email Form

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: humor, life, psychology, thoughts

Being around that one person who always seems to have body odor

August 10, 2015 by Edwin C. 2 Comments

This post is not meant to be mean.

But seriously.

A few years ago, I was riding in the backseat of a car looking outside at the trees and the way that the sunlight looked through the moving trees. It was a nice moment… when suddenly it starts smelling like armpit.

The person who was sitting in front of me had rolled down her window and decided to enjoy the day by making fish motions with her hand along with the wind outside of her window. Do you guys know what I’m talking about? Like you pretend that your hand is a fish or a plane and you let the wind lift and drop your hand or move it side to side to feel the stream of air around your skin?

If you don’t get it, too bad!

So the air was flowing up her arm, to her armpit, and shooting straight back to where I was sitting.. filling up the backseat with stinky smells.

I didn’t know what to say, I knew this person very well and had known her for a long time so being all like, “hey yo.. so like, deodorant.. yeah” would be just plain weird considering that she had smelled that way since I’ve known her but had kinda gotten used to it.

See, some people just don’t use deodorant and they are so used to the smell of armpits that they think its weird that you’re bringing it up.

And you’d think they would notice that they smell bad and do something about it. I mean I’ve gone as far as pretending like its me, smelling my own armpits, and saying

“Nope, not me.”

But it doesn’t work.

Jeez. How do I let them know? Or should I just let them be?

Do you know anyone like that? If you do, just casually link them up to this post 🙂

 

Thank you so much for reading! To catch up on more awkward moments, please click to follow this blog on WordPress, or give me a shoutout on Twitter.

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: awkward, body odor, funny, humor, life, thoughts

Ever wonder who divided the regions in the United States? Why does it look like this?

May 7, 2015 by Edwin C. Leave a Comment

 Regions of the United States

Someone please tell me! 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: cartoon, funny, humor, meme, memes, random, thoughts, United States

158. When your friend is being confrontational and you don't know what to do

May 6, 2015 by Edwin C. Leave a Comment

I was sitting outside of a study room back in college eating with a very dear friend and coworker, when an Asian dude comes by and starts smoking a cigarette right next to us. We are outdoors so of course I think its somewhat legal to do so, but I should’ve known that in the state of California there is a law that says you have to be at least 25 feet away from a building.

My friend definitely knew this. So imagine a girl with blonde hair, with salad still in her mouth, stand up and tell the guy:

“Uh, excuse me, I’m trying to eat here, can you go smoke farther away from the building?”

Horse - Haters gonna hate

This guy didn’t look mean, but he gave her a look that made her nudge like she was about to stand up.

He just nervously smiled and backed away toward some steps and leaned against a tree.

What the heck was that about? I have been in many situations where a friend of mine gets confrontational with someone else while I’m right there, pretending like I’m somewhere in-between “yeah, I’ll back you up,” and “shut up, dummy. You’re going to get us both beat up.”

Have you been in similar situations? Check the list:

  • Your friend is driving and decides to honk at someone else, and later the car pulls up on your right and look right at you.
  • Someone has cut in line in front of you and your friend doesn’t decide to just be quiet and make a nod of “WTF?” acknowledgement to the guy behind you.. but instead tells the cutter “Hey! There’s a line!”
  • The restaurant gets your order wrong and your friend decides to tell the waiter to get the manager instead of just clearing it up with the waiter himself. Cringe.
  • Some stranger on the street whistles or cat calls somehow the friend you are walking with and she (or he) decides to tell him (or her) off and adds a little sass to it.

Jeez.

What do you guys think?

Please share your experiences in the comments below!

Filed Under: Awkward Moments, Blog Tagged With: advice, awkward, friends, funny, humor, life, people, relationships, thoughts

156. That moment when you realize you gave the wrong directions

May 4, 2015 by Edwin C. Leave a Comment

I was walking around the northwestern part of Mexico with my cousin after getting some tacos for breakfast (yes, for breakfast!) when I heard a familiar phrase coming out of a car stopped at a red light: Oye, muchacho!

They were asking how to get to San Carlos, a tourist area about 15 minutes northwest from where we were. I had been there many times before, so I told them to just go straight down the road and that an intersection would take them west toward San Carlos.

There was a girl sitting in the passenger seat, it looked like she was from outside of the country, and she asked me if the road pops up on the right or the left. So of course I said LEFT because heading northbound… San Carlos is on the left… except that the exit comes up on the right side and makes a loop and heads west from there.

I realized this literally two seconds after their light turned green and they left. I gave them the wrong directions.

Awkward

Awkward! No, bird! It’s the other way!

But it isn’t the first time that this happens, and no I don’t mean giving the wrong directions but instead second guessing myself. At the end of exams, after an interview, after clicking “Publish” on a blog post. I guess its a karma thing that people always give me the wrong directions. Maybe I should learn how to read maps.

Does this ever happen to you?

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: awkward, blog, humor, humour, journal, life, random, story, thoughts

iPhone's New Politically Correct Emoji Awkwardness

April 20, 2015 by Edwin C. Leave a Comment

Every once in a while, pretty much every day, I get a new update notification for one of my devices. A phone update, a software update, or a notification somewhere to download something to make life better. Apple just recently updated my iPhone with a new layout for those emoji icons, and I noticed something cool: there are hands for white people, yellow people, brown people, black people, red people, blue people, and purple people. Just kidding, not that many colors.

iPhone's new emoji icons with colored handsI think it is pretty cool stuff. Now I get to use a brown “thumbs up” emoticon because if I use another color, people will think that I am trying to be someone that I’m not.

They also made gay couple ones, and a bunch of other kinds. I still haven’t discovered all of them just yet, but I noticed that they added more flags of the world. There is a Mexican flag now, woo! Go Mexico!

Though yes, they may be opening up a door for those people who like to complain about everything, they might say that Apple discriminates because they didn’t match their correct skin color, or that they’re missing a bowl of Fruit Loops on there because it is their favorite kind of cereal.

I found one of these really cool, I like the running people:

FullSizeRender-2

But okay, seriously what is up with the horse rider. They all look the same to me:

FullSizeRenderOops, was that racist?

I’m kidding guys. But seriously, don’t they all look the same?

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: apple, awkward, funny, humor, iphone, life, technology, thoughts

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