Awkward List

Awkward moments and more weird stuff

truth

6. When children are brutally honest with you in front of others

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If you’ve ever heard a child tell you,

“Are you having a baby too?” (while pointing at your stomach)

“Why is your face so hairy?”

“Do you have a lot of money?”, or even better:

“You look like a fly with those glasses.”

 

Yes, those glasses that cost you a paycheck and a half make you look like a fly. Hey, I didn’t say it!

From user jpctalbot, flickr.com

You know what I’m talking about. They indirectly tell you a truth by asking you a question. They ask you if you’re having a baby and making you realize that your belly is big. By asking why your face is hairy, they remind you that you haven’t shaved in a while, and by asking you if you have a lot of money, you realize that you’re not rich.

I was in my old room of my parent’s home, sitting on the futon reading a book. When my three-year old cousin comes into the room and says “Your room is messy”, when I had spent the whole previous evening tidying up. But hey, she told me what she saw. What I’ve noticed before though, is that these children are taught to keep their opinions to themselves at a very early age. I will tell you about a situation in which I was in when I volunteered at an elementary school not far from my high school.

I was partnered up with a high school girl that had experience in the elementary school deal, she knew the teachers and many many students. She had been volunteering for about two years. I can go on and on about her, and probably so could the child we were playing with. Except he’s a lot more bold. We were playing with the play-doh, and another child next to us was drawing Liz, the high school girl. As soon as the child finished, our play-doh kindergarten partner said:

“Annie, you forgot something. She has a lot of pimples!”

Dude.

Liz turned bright red. I didn’t know how to react, so I did what my instincts told me to do and I told on him. No, just kidding. I changed the topic immediately and pretended I had not heard anything.

Ever been in a situation like that?

46. Not knowing if someone's baby is a boy or a girl

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Ever bumped into someone on the street that has a baby in a stroller, or in her arms?

You take a look at the baby and realize: Wow! What a cute baby! And of course, just out of curiosity, you might want to ask questions to find out the baby’s age. Not a difficult task, right? Wrong!

What if the baby is too young to be able to make the gender obvious to the observer? And you know, sometimes mothers can be extra sensitive about these things. . .

A person might end up asking “How old is it?“, or “Is it a boy or a girl?” First of all, why do people even refer to a baby as “it”? Even balloons say things like “It’s a Boy!”. It? Well anyway, figuring out the gender of the baby is very important here, and no sometimes you cannot tell by the color of the baby’s clothes. We live in a changing society, people. Pink is no longer a girl color, and blue is actually a favorite color of many girls. Besides, a lot of moms decide to make it extra difficult for the rest of us and dress their babies in orange or greens and yellows.

If you really don’t know, just ask “Is your baby a boy or a girl?” and don’t take a random guess by saying “He is so cute!” and then hear the angry parent say “She is a girl!” This is an awkward moment I would rather avoid.

Sources: Image, Idea [Thank you] 

38. Looking at the dead guy in a movie

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You’re watching a movie. In some heroic attempt, an important character ends up in a horrible accident and is now dying in the arms of somebody.

The dying dude finally dies, and then here comes an epic speech from the person watching the dude die. She might cry and yell out how much he meant to her and about all of the people that he affected while he was alive. She might be cursing at the guy for dying, or letting him know that she’s grateful that he finally died . . what?! Yes. Actually, I don’t know and maybe neither do you because a large percentage of people pay very little attention to what is going on after a person dies because we find ourselves looking at the dead guy to see if he’s moving.

We become doctors, checking his neck for a pulse, watching his chest for any signs of breathing, or his eyes for any twitching that might show us a sign of life! Who knows why people even bother to do this. Chances are the man isn’t actually dead in the movie, so yes people he is alive, he’s just doing his job of playing dead as one of his major tasks before receiving his final paycheck for the job.

Some people even say “Hey man, check it out, he’s breathing.” And the other movie watcher will respond with “Oh yeah I saw that!”. Instead of you guys paying attention to what’s going on in the movie, you focus on the part of the screen that isn’t moving (or at least trying not to move) because its a dead guy!

Guilty! I catch myself looking at the dead people to see if they move..

Image source

34. Getting locked out of your home

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I lived in the dorms in my early college years. That’s where I gained a ton of friends and got to know many students. I spent two years and one summer living in a 250-resident building, sharing five toilets and 4 showers with 45 other students.

Yeah, it sounds cool but its not as awesome as what I was able to manage throughout those seven quarters (not semesters) living on campus: I managed to only get locked out of my room once. 

My story isn’t as interesting as the one I read on Sandi’s ahhsome blog. Actually, mine isn’t interesting at all… hmm. Oh I know, I’ll tell you someone else’s locked-out experience instead:

I was a Resident Advisor in the dorms for an academic year and a summer, so I learned to really dislike it when people got locked out of their rooms. And they would always get locked out at very inappropriate times; in the middle of the night, early morning, while I was in the shower, you name it. One of these times, I was hanging out with one of my friends who didn’t live in the dorms. He was thinking about moving in. He asked,

“Does anything interesting ever happen around here?”

“Not really. . .” I responded

“Any girl stories?”

Just as he said that, I heard a loud knocking on my door and a girl yelling out my name. I ran to the door, and opened it. A girl from down the hall, named Marie, ran inside, and closed the door behind her and just stood there looking at me. I was looking back at her in surprise. She was extremely embarrassed. This young woman was wearing nothing but a towel and had wet hair dripping down her face.

I turned to look at my friend, sitting on my futon. He was nodding his head and trying to hold in his laughter at the same time.

“I’m locked out of my room and I’m late for class!” she said to me.

“How did it happen?” I asked back. You see, as RA’s we’re supposed to hassle students in order to keep them from locking themselves out again.

“It wasn’t my fault.” she said.

Yeah, it is never their fault. Almost every student has a very good excuse to get locked out, and its usually never their faults. Did they leave their keys inside? Yes. But it’s still not their fault. I decided to save her the trouble, I mean poor girl, she was late and in a towel. But how can it not be her fault? She forgot and forgetting is not her problem? Then who is there to blame? I let her in her room after fetching the master key, and she never looked at me in the eye since then, I guess she felt too awkward.

Ahh.. memories. I remember the only time I got locked out.. it wasn’t that embarrassing. Someone was throwing blank CDs like Frisbee’s in the hall and I stepped out to see who it was when the wind decided to shut my door.

It wasn’t my fault.

Image source

28. Bumping into an ex

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(ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-best friend, ex-boss, etc.)

..when you’re with your new partner, while you’re with your parents, when you’re out buying feminine hygiene items, when you aren’t dressed your best, when she’s with someone new, when you can’t avoid each other and are forced to speak, catching up and finding out that he’s actually happy. . . the list goes on and on.

Different people take different roles when it comes to this situation.

The Hider:

  • Approach: Go as far away from the sighting as possible.
  • Interaction: N/A
  • Reasoning: “I just don’t want her to see me.”
The Brag:
  • Approach: Finds a mirror, fixes makeup, and pretends bumping into each other was a coincidence.
  • Interaction: Brags, very subtly, about how awesome her life is. Pretends to be interested in the other’s life.
  • Reasoning: “He has to know what he’s missing out on, even though I’d never take him back.”
The Just Sad:

  •  Approach: Goes directly toward her and attempts to find out how she’s doing.
  • Interaction: Comes off as overly-interested. Apologizes every other word, and asks for permission to call her again.
  • Reasoning: “She’ll come back to me someday.”
The “Friend”:
  • Approach: Spots him and goes to say “hi” immediately
  • Interaction: Friendly. They both seem happy to be talking to one another, and say “we should hang out sometime!” (but never actually do it).
  • Reasoning: “He was an important part of my life, we’re still good friends.”
I’ve known people that fit those roles, and have probably taken on one myself.
Question 1: Have you ever met people that fit those roles?
I’m very interested in finding out what you think about that last one, and I’m sure many other people also want to know what’s on your mind regarding this:
Question 2: Is it O.K. for exes to remain friends?
I’ll post my opinion in the comments.

#16 Silence after group laughter

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I really like it when I’m with a group of random people and we get the chance to get a good laugh. I would like it even more if the laughter didn’t stop because of the silence involved afterwards.

It has definitely happened to you before. You’re at a a social gathering, perhaps at a quiet restaurant having dinner. Suddenly someone might tell you a good joke. Say.. a knock-knock joke.

Next thing you know, another person adds on to the jokes and laughter keeps increasing. Suddenly you have people looking at your table wishing they were having as much fun as you. But unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Someone might tell a joke that is just not funny, or perhaps nobody decides to follow up the hilarious knock-knock joke. Darn it. Why isn’t anybody saying anything? Oh no.

Now you all experience this: (insert text here)

That is right: silence.

This is the part where you awkwardly pick up your glass of water and take a sip. You look around, and take another sip. Maybe you’ll go to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror, or you might just wait for someone else to say something. Awkward.

#9 Farts

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Even the word sounds awkward.

Fart.

I was studying at the university library one day, and I was in a hurry because I was behind on my work, and I needed to go to the post office before it closed. I was at a table by a huge window, and couches next to me. On one of the couches, I could see a backpack leaning on it with a young man with his legs and arms crossed. He must’ve been napping. After some frustration, I took off my earphones and just stared at my paper for about a minute (it happens all the time) when my frustration got interrupted.

I heard a loud fart coming from the couch next to me. The guy tried to jump up and fell off the couch with a loud thump. Not only that, but he also spilled his water in the bottle and looked in my direction by using the couch as a shield and slowly creeping upwards to see the rest of us looking at him. He turned bright red. His own fart woke him up and scared him. How embarrassing.

The girl I was sharing the table with looked at me, and that’s what did it. I couldn’t help it. I tried really hard not to laugh, my attempts sounded like a mix between a cough and a sneeze combined with baby noises. Yeah, imagine that.

Of course, there are many different situations in which this could be more uncomfortable.

from moonbattery.com

Imagine you’re in a car with only one passenger and then suddenly an unpleasant smell begins to surround the air inside the vehicle. Obviously, one of the two people in the car must have farted, but what is more interesting is that the person that didn’t fart knows he or she didn’t. And the person that farted knows he or she farted. You both know.

Awkward?

Or what if you decide to roll down the window a little in your car and suddenly a smell begins to penetrate your car. The other person might think that you had planned to air out the car after you farted. There’s no way of proving that you didn’t fart.

Of course, it is pretty hilarious to think about farts. Especially when they put you in uncomfortable situations, like when:

1) The old man waiting in front of you in line lets one rip.

2) When babies fart, and they find it funny.

3) When dogs fart.

People have been farting since the beginning of time, why haven’t we gotten used to it? I guess the thought of gas going from the colon to someone else’s lungs is a bit unpleasant to think about.