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walmart

What do you think about Walmart?

January 26, 2013 by Edwin C. 16 Comments

In response to itsames.wordpress.com‘s post titled: Why I BLEEP-ing hate Walmart:

Walmart Sucks
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Walmart is a scary place, dudes. I’ve had my experiences there, but now I avoid it at all costs. For those of you who know me and have decided to pit stop there while driving somewhere, you’ve encountered my resistance to go in there. At first I blamed the lights, the high ceilings, the smell, all the stuff, and the customer service.. and even though I still don’t know what it is about that place that makes me feel super tired and angry, I’ve given up on trying to find out the reasons.

Last week, my mother decided it would be a good idea to buy a new juicer that is exclusively available at Walmart. She convinced me to drive her to two Walmarts and search for the darn thing. No luck. So in order to avoid going into the stores, I decided to order it using their Site-to-Store system and I was to pick it up at a store near my home in one of their 893,123,143,121,214 and a half locations worldwide. I didn’t put my name in the pick up order thing (so I could just say “Oh sorry my name isn’t on the pick up list thing.. oh no!”). The next day I got an email saying my order was cancelled. So I called the store.

Walmart 1: “Hello balskdllkg lskdflskdf Walmart alsnf?”

Me: Hi, I ordered something to pick up and it was cancelled, can you help me find it at another store?

Walmart 1: One second.

Me: Ok, no pr— beep.

Walmart 2 (some other lady): Hello, how may I help you?

Me: Hello, I ordered something online to pick up today, but it was cancelled. How can I find it?

Walmart 2: Please hold.

Me: But someone alrea– beep.

Walmart 3: Site-to-Store, what do you need?

Me: I’m wondering if you could help me find a Walmart that has an item that was cancelled by your store for pick up.

Walmart 3: Have you tried other stores?

Me: Other than Walmart?

Walmart 3: Yes.

Me: It is only available in Walmart.

Walmart 3: One second please.

Me: ….

Walmart 1: Hello, asdkvj walkdjs Walmart, asfvsdc?

Me: Hello, how are you?

Walmart 1: …

Me: Hello?

Walmart 1: I’m fine.

Me: Great! Have a good day.

So I decided to try calling a different Walmart, and I found the item in stock, ordered it and had it picked up by someone who came back with an interesting story himself. After talking to a manager and waiting in line twice, the juicer was picked up.

A while back, I was in a friend’s car when they decided to go to Walmart to pick up some stuff for a bonfire. Of course, I stayed in the car. Staying outside Walmart shouldn’t be a problem, right? WRONG! Looking through my phone and finding songs on Spotify, I almost forgot I was in a Walmart parking lot. Out of the corner of my eye I suddenly see a guy struggling to pull something out of his pocket from my left side. He approaches a dark Honda parked right across my friend’s car and pulls out a gun and shoots BBs all over the windows and makes a bunch of holes all over the car and then takes off running.

What?

About two minutes later, a younger Walmart employee comes out and inspects her car. Yeah, it was her car. We called the police, waited around, and then filed a report.

Seriously, Walmart?

Do you guys like that place? 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: grassroots, humor, humour, life, United States, walmart

59. When automatic doors don’t open automatically

July 13, 2011 by Edwin C. 13 Comments

A lot of things happen at Walmart. Today, I went in there with one goal in mind: To find a lint roller. You know, one of those things that you roll around your clothes to get rid of the lint? Yeah, one of those.

Well anyway, I went up to the door that said “Exit” hoping that it would let me in even though it was meant for people to get out. And it didn’t. So I went up to the door that was labeled “Enter” and it didn’t open. So I backed up, and pretended like I was normally approaching the door once again, thinking that maybe the door sensor might be aiming a little further away. The door wouldn’t move.

So I stood there, checked the time. Yup, the store was open. I jumped up and down, and waved at the little black box on top of the door. I pushed a button that was up there, I touched the door (hey, I don’t know! I’m new to this town. It might be all hi-tech.).

Nothing.

I even said please and the darn thing wouldn’t even respond. I could see people inside playing around with the vending machines, minding their own business. I even saw the old lady the checks the receipts glance over and turn away again. But then, an old man approached the door. I would’ve been mad it if it opened for him and not for me but no luck. It didn’t open.

“Damn door!” he said, and hit the crack between the two sliding doors, “Technology my butt!”

. . and it opened. Awesome! He walked in, and we both went our separate ways.

And as for my lint roller, after half an hour of asking around and going from the pharmacy area, to the grocery department, to the health and beauty section, I finally found a nice lady who told me to use my tongue to get rid of the lint.

I think she was serious.

Awkward.

Image source

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: awkward, funny, humor, life, random, shopping, thoughts, tips, walmart

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