• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
Awkward List

Awkward List

Awkward moments and more weird stuff

  • About
  • Best Of
  • Awkward Moments

work

152. Quitting your job

May 26, 2014 by Edwin C. 3 Comments

Giving an official notice to leave something is awkward. How do you tell your awesome manager that you’re leaving? It feels like breaking up, and they never expect it.

I’ve quit jobs by both on the spot, and with adequate notice. Few have felt nice, but some have been really bad to leave. You’d be surprised!

i-am-quitting

I quit working at a fast food restaurant by giving my two week notice, and without any sign of me leaving. I had gotten a little award thing for saying my lines and behaving properly when customers would get pissed. When I told my manager, I felt horrible for creating the trouble of finding a new person to cover, since the whole hiring process kinda sucks for hiring managers. He looked at me, and I told him I left my letter on his desk. It didn’t feel all satisfying, like people usually say it feels like.

chickencrappyjob

I worked at the office of a huge douche lawyer, and as soon as I got my check (no lag time), I left. I also left the reports that he wanted ready for him on his desk, sorted by alphabetical order, and to a really high level of detail. When I didn’t return, he called me, and I didn’t answer. He was a pretty screwed up guy. That actually felt really cool.

But how do you work at a place that has your two-weeks notice already? Isn’t it weird? Do you have any awesome quitting stories?

 

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: awkward, funny, humor, jobs, life, random, relationships, thoughts, work

5 Email Signatures and What They Really Mean

December 13, 2013 by Edwin C. 3 Comments

Even though email may seem like extremely old-fashioned nowadays, I do it often. Like actual correspondence-type emails. Yes. That happens.

Sometimes I’m responding back to customer’s questions, and other times I’m reading awkward stories that you guys share with me via email. My first experience using Outlook in a job setting was in Colorado back in 2009, where the world of Microsoft Office opened up a brand new window to office gossip and the path to the long chain of people you have to go through in order to get access to the software essential to doing the job I was hired to do. As an observant of the awkward and the unnoticed, I started taking note of the email signatures these people would use. In a land of engineers with support from HR, IT, law, accountants, and tech guys.. they were easy to differentiate.

Take a look at the types of email signatures these people would send:

Human Resources

Yours,

Marie Escalade
Human Resources
(555) 198-9213- extension 124

Information and Technology

Myriam Delao
IT
(555) 143-9123 -ext 2

Law Department

Sincerely,

Bill McCormick
Chief Coordinator of Internal Operations & Executive Trainee
Department of Law and Engineering Support
Office: (555) 876-1234
Fax: (555) 213-1231
E-mail: bill @company.com

If you believe this email was sent to you in error, please delete immediately and notify the sender.

Engineering

-mike

Accounting

Thank you,

James Blunder
Accounting
(555) 123-1245 ext- 3
—————

And then I started noticing the signatures other people send, and dude.. some of them just make me want to invent a virus that would make a hand come out of the screen and slap somebody.

Here are some slightly modified [to make my point] email signatures found around the internet.

1. The Overachiever Student Who Thinks He’s a Professional

—-
Sincerely,

Bogdan Emerson
President 2012-2013
Envirocool Organization
Hazing Chairman of Kappa Jau Fraternity, Inc.
Cell: 555-412-1234

What you’re really saying: I am the coolest guy on campus and you need to know that. The top companies don’t want me but I don’t know that yet.
2. The Funny Guy

—-
Thanks pal,

Geoffrey “Karate Kid” Nelson
Earth
Smoke ring signals: Puff, puff, hold… puff, puff, hold, cloud.
Ok but seriously, cell phone: (911) 134-9421
Gotcha.

What you’re really saying: I am hilarious, laugh at me. Alright, you can stop now. It isn’t funny anymore, stop. #AntiBullying

3. I’m Green, and You Must Know It

—-
With kind regards,

Christine Skye

Please be considerate of the environment before printing this email. 

What you’re really saying: I annoy my friends, and secretly still buy bottled water.

4. The Success

—
Thanks a lot, bud.
Max Le’Gitneo

Senior Planning Vice-President of DaCool Co. & Media Conglomerate, Corp.
LeGitNEO@DaCoolCo.com
Office: (555) 123-1234
Cell: (555) 123-1252
Office 234-A

Disclaimer: All information contained in this email is intended for single use only and only to the person listed on this email and is subject to inspection by our security guard, Hank, at any moment if any suspicious activities arise. You may not distribute, copy, email, forward, modify, or read this email at coffee shops or diners. All opinions expressed in this email are not representative of DaCool Co & Media Conglomerate, Corp, but any good ideas arising from such emails are copyrighted by said company and can be used for profit without providing any royalties. The sender is not responsible for any accidental damage caused by this email, including but not limited to: choking, explosions, weight gain, or deep depression. 

What you’re really saying: Bow down to me. I am the douche who emails you with this account to ask you about the status of my toilet paper on eBay.

5. The Philosopher and Prophet

—-
Spiritually with you,

John Everest

Thoughts arise in the midsts of the early dawn, upon which the sun kisses the earth and greets the children of the earth.

What you’re really saying: I like to read quotes and demonstrate my spirituality even though I got in a fight with the guy in front of me while waiting in line at McDonald’s today.

What does your email signature say?

Thanks,

Edwin

English: email envelope
English: email envelope (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Related articles
  • Email Names, Sign Offs, and Signatures – A Part of Your Personal Brand (business2community.com)
  • Outlook — removing or hiding text when displaying emails (ask.metafilter.com)
  • How To Ensure Your Email Signature Doesn’t Give The Wrong Impression (makeuseof.com)

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: awkward, humor, humour, life, people, random, thoughts, work

When someone's card declines, and you don't know how to tell them

July 7, 2013 by Edwin C. 2 Comments

English: Logo of Target, US-based retail chain
English: Logo of Target, US-based retail chain (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I like those machines that you find at Target, or Vons/Safeway.. or large retailer places that have the screen for you to swipe your own card, see your total, ask for your signature.. and it even asks if you want cash back. They are super awesome, because in case my card declines, only I will know.

I always thought it was just awkward for the person whose card declined, but once I became a cashier, I discovered how awkward it is for the person telling you so. Here’s how it usually goes:

The customer comes in, purchases something and gives you the card. You swipe it and suddenly you get this message: Error, Card Declined.

Declined.

Declined.

So you swipe it again.. acting like you’re having trouble with it, while hoping that the person will realize on their own that they have insufficient funds and will ask you to try another card.

DECLINED.

You act confused, and make it obvious that the card is not working and they look at you with the look of shame, almost like when you get home to your dog taking the stuffing out of your couch cushions. You must break the news. There is just no other way.

“I’m sorry sir, your card declined.”

OUCH!

I said that a few times and I felt like the worst person ever! So I worked out a technique:

“Hmm, this card isn’t working.. I wonder what happened.”

or I ask,

“Has this card been giving you trouble elsewhere?”

What makes it even more awkward is when you’re a server at a place and you must tell the person in front of the other members of their table that the card declined, or when the guy is trying to look like a big shot in front of his date and his card won’t help him out.

Has anyone else there been in this situation? How would you tell them?

Related articles
  • Your life’s been declined. (weekendwaiter.wordpress.com)
  • The 4 Daily Fears in Personal Finance Money Management (thewiseme.com)

Filed Under: Awkward Moments Tagged With: awkward, business, customer service, funny, humor, humour, jobs, life, random, thoughts, work

Primary Sidebar

Top Posts & Pages

  • 29. When someone tells you that they miss you (and you don't miss them back)
    29. When someone tells you that they miss you (and you don't miss them back)
  • Making eye contact with someone who just took a huge bite of food
    Making eye contact with someone who just took a huge bite of food
  • 56. Wishing a happy birthday on the wrong day
    56. Wishing a happy birthday on the wrong day
  • The List of Awkward Moments
    The List of Awkward Moments
  • 49. Accidentally touching someone's butt while walking
    49. Accidentally touching someone's butt while walking
  • 100. The Awkward Hug
    100. The Awkward Hug
  • 5. When you push instead of pull (a door)
    5. When you push instead of pull (a door)
  • Saying "you too" at the wrong time
    Saying "you too" at the wrong time

Copyright © 2021 · Awkwardlist.com

  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
  • About Me
  • Terms and Conditions